Easter 2024

I tried.

I tried to stay up all night to watch for that stupid little white-tailed breaking-and-entering Easter bunny. I even went way under cover and dressed the part in hopes of luring him into a false sense of security before I chased him away and exposed him to the world as the scaredy bunny he is.  But as the night progressed, my eyes got heavier and heavier and I swear I only intended close them for a moment.

Well, long story short, the stupid bunny made it into the house without my knowing it and left jelly beans, marshmallows, and a chocolate T-Rex.  But, while I definitely don’t condone breaking and entering and it's not a treat I'm allowed to have, the bunny does get points for the dinosaur shaped chocolate (just don't tell him I said s0)..

 So, in the end, I'm wishing you, my loyal readers, a very

Happy Easter

and if that stupid little white-tailed breaking-and-entering Easter bunny managed to get past your security system this morning, don’t beat yourself up over it.  He’s sneaky.

 

 

 

 

Bloopers:

 

 

The Threat of an Early Easter

I keep hearing that this year is going to be an early Easter.  Now I have no idea exactly what that means time-wise, but as soon as I heard, I immediately went into high alert.  As everyone knows, Easter is a holiday built around a crime scene.  Every Easter, some stupid little breaking-and-entering fluffy tailed bunny goes around and tries to force its way into the homes of the unsuspecting populace.  As Head of Security, I can’t have this.  No bunny is going to breach security and eat all the carrots in my house!  Those carrots belong in only one place:  My dinner bowl! 

So, the security level right now in my house is high.  I’m constantly checking perimeters, spying around corners, and snoozing with one eye open.  No stupid little fluffy tailed bunny with a rap sheet is going to infiltrate my house on my watch!

But then I had a security scare a few days ago. 

I was making my mid-morning rounds, when suddenly I discovered, to my extreme horror, an Easter basket sitting in the middle of the living room floor.  I approached it cautiously.  How could that stupid little bunny get past all my security measures? 

I gave the basket a sniff hoping that maybe, with a good enough whiff, I’d be able to track the bunny from the basket to its entry and exit points. 

But there was no bunny scent.  Turns out the basket was merely a decoration—a decorative Easter basket—forgotten in the middle of the living room by Ma when she was distracted while decorating for the criminal bunny’s anticipated arrival.

A side note:  I’ve known for a while that any time that stupid little Easter bunny has managed to breach my security, Ma was acting as its accomplice in the background.  I’m sure this is merely a case of Stockholm Syndrome; Ma wouldn’t betray me otherwise. 

So anyway, faced with this forgotten basket, I decided to explore it in hopes of finding a stuffed animal to disembowel or maybe some long forgotten jelly beans.  I found neither, but I did find something. 

A couple of minutes later, Pa wandered into the room and saw me lying in the middle of the rug, my lips puffed out by something I obviously had hidden in my mouth.  Pa sat down beside me and removed from my mouth a decorative plaster Easter egg.  Slobbery egg in hand, Pa got up and placed it on the end table.  He then looked back at me.  Well, apparently, I lack a poker face because Pa knelt down again and pried my mouth open only to discover that I had a second decorative plaster Easter egg stuffed in there (and this one was stuck to my tooth…plaster is no match for large gnashing teeth).  Having extracted the second slobbery egg from my mouth, Pa began roughing me up in jest.  And what did he discover?  I had a third egg tucked up under my chest. 

So unfortunately, I lost all my plaster eggs before I was able to destroy them properly (though I got them all slobbery enough for Ma to ultimately decide to throw them out shortly thereafter).  But the good news is that there was no breach in security that day; the Easter bunny did not get in.

But Easter is coming and the threat is still very real.

A Series of Small Adventures

The life of a devilishly handsome pup such as myself isn’t necessarily one exciting adventure after another.  Sometimes, it’s more of a series of small events packed in between well-earned naps and dinner breaks.  The last handful of months have definitely fallen under the category of the latter. Here’s pictorial collage of what I’ve been up to: 

Twined with Lamb Chop (that’s me on the right).



Suffered a post Easter hangover (parties take a lot out of me).



Worked on my patented “Aren’t I pitiful?” look (look at those big brown eyes).



Gained fame as an advertising star (shout-out to My Estate for posting this throwback picture).



Hung out in the great outdoors with my new squeaky ball (sod is quite comfy).


 

But there was one event from the last few months which was not captured on camera:  Pa and I bonded while sniffing a tree.  You see, Pa and I were heading out for our morning walk, when we stopped at the next-door neighbor's dogwood tree.  While I busily sniffed the base of the tree ("reading the newspaper" as Pa calls it), Pa leaned forward and sniffed a couple of the pink flowers hanging from its branches.  Sister witnessed this touching scene from the front window, but rather than be moved by it, she instead decided to mock Pa and I for it.  

 

Obviously, some people just don't appreciate a poignant father/son moment.

Easter 2022

 

Happy Easter to All My Friends!

Watch out for those candy bearing, egg hiding, carrot munching, stupid fluffy tailed bunnies gallivanting willy-nilly like all over town.

Easter 2021

Happy Easter

to all my friends.

I hope you catch yourself a bunny!

And now, from the collection of "If Looks Could Kill" Easter edition:

Easter 2019

I'd like to wish all my friends and family a very happy Easter.  My words of advice for this day are simple:

1. Keep an eye out for the Easter Bunny.  You see, despite the fact that he is known for hiding tasty treats throughout the house for pups like me to find, whatever he leaves behind is simply not worth the security nightmare of having a bunny hippity hoppin' through the house.
2. Jelly beans are small and round.  If you follow a jelly bean eater around changes are good he or she will accidentally drop at least one on the floor.  The grey ones are the tastiest.
3. Go out and buy yourself a fedora and take lots of pictures of you wearing it.  I mean, check it out!  It took nearly ten years, but Sister finally managed to find a holiday outfit that does not make me look foolish.  In fact, I think I look quite dapper!

Okay, maybe you can look foolish wearing a fedora.  Leave it to Sister to find a way!

Easter 2018

 

 

 

 

Happy Easter!

(\(\

(-.-)

o(")(")

(Watch out for stupid little bunnies masquerading as the Easter Bunny!)

Easter 2017

I know why you are checking in on my blog today.  You are expecting me to post my usual happy holiday message complete with a picture of me wearing a funny looking costume, headband, or hat. 

Well, this year is no different.

Happy Easter...

...to all my friends!

An Easter Compromise

I'm just going to come right out and say it:  I fell asleep.  I had a perfect plan worked out to keep the Easter Bunny from breaking into my house on Easter morning (that didn't, Sister, require bunny ears), but that plan fell through.  The giant bunny managed to break into my house and, though he didn't get any carrots (turns out we didn't have any in the refrigerator), he did manage to seriously compromise my status as Head of Security. But I don't think it was entirely my fault that the bunny managed to breach security.  You see, my family kept me very busy yesterday and I was simply too exhausted to carry out my plan.  Let me explain.

My family is always telling me that I am a born helper dog.  I love getting right up and under the sink or toilet with whoever is doing plumbing (the smaller the space the better), I am a pro at turning large sticks into small sticks when I assist with the yard work, and I am very skilled at shredding old receipts and cancelled checks (the only problem is I tend to get a bit over exuberant and shred documents that I shouldn't--sorry Ma for this morning's shredding session).  Anyway, yesterday I was exceptionally helpful.  I helped, or at least tried to help (more on that later), all three members of my family.  Here's a rundown of what I accomplished.

Pa:  I helped Pa replace a window in the living room.  I helped in three ways:  I barked out instructions (I always need to remind Pa to measure twice and cut once), I accompanied him outside countless times to cut the trim and molding and carry garbage out of the house, and I kept an eye out for any misplaced tools I could herd back to Pa's side (and gnaw on if I got the chance).  Pa was very impressed by my helpfulness and made sure to tell Ma and Sister when they returned home from work and doing chores.

Sister:  I helped Sister make cupcakes for Easter.  When Sister cooks, I'm in charge of quality control and cleanup.  You see, not only does Sister give me samples of ingredients as she adds them to her recipes, but she also tends to be a bit of a messy cook.  Talk about a win win situation for me!  Yesterday, I patiently waited by her side to clean up bits of creamed sugar as if flew off the blades of her hand mixer and also muscled her out of the way when a piece of lemon zest fell to the floor between her and the dishwasher (after all, I didn't want her to accidentally slip).

Trying to Help Ma

Ma:  I tried to help Ma paint the living room, but apparently Ma didn't want my help.  No, I don't know why.  I tried to help when I noticed her struggling with the drop cloth, but apparently holding down one end by laying on it was not Ma's idea of helping.  Then I tried to retrieve her paint roller, but she definitely didn't seem too keen on that idea.  It was then that Ma blocked me out of the living room using a chair and a baby gate.  I was quite insulted and barked at her for a while.  Obviously, some people just don't appreciate an enthusiastic assistant.

And those are the reasons why, when I decided to merely rest my eyes for a minute last night, I fell deeply asleep thus giving the Easter Bunny his opportunity to break in and scrounge around for carrots and leafy greens.

Enjoying My Easter Toy

But you know what?  Maybe I was a bit harsh on the bunny.  Despite all my threats, the bunny left me a present:  a giant yellow chick plush toy (which Sister has already had to sew up three times).  Maybe, just maybe, if he keeps his visits limited to just once a year and doesn't tell those stupid little bunnies that keep trying to take over my backyard each summer about our agreement, we can get along just fine.  Maybe.

Preparing for the Easter Bunny

The scariest night of the year will occur in less than a week's time.  In the wee hours of Sunday morning, a giant furry rabbit will break into millions of homes throughout the nation (including my own) with the purpose of rummaging for carrots and leafy greens while depositing brightly colored eggs in his wake in a sad attempt at making up for the intrusion.

Yes, Easter is nearly here.

In anticipation of this brazen break in, I have spent the last couple of days trying to think of some line of defense against the large carrot-thieving rodent.  After all, not only am I protecting my property (you, my loyal readers, know how much it upsets me when a bunny infiltrates my backyard--just imagine how I must feel about a bunny in my house), but my reputation as well.

After much thought, I have come up with a surefire plan to snag my bunny:  I intend to stay up and wait for the Easter Bunny to appear then chase him out of my house barking hysterically.  Admittedly, staying up late enough to catch the bunny will be taxing (I do enjoy my beauty sleep) so, to stay alert, I will spend the nighttime hours crunching on the carrots the Bunny is breaking in to capture (not only will doing so prevent the Bunny from accomplishing his evil plan, but my intake of Vitamin A will significantly boost my eyesight thus making it easier to see the Bunny as soon as he breaks in).   I know, it is a great plan; well thought out, fool proof, and most importantly, containing a built in snack time.

Little did I know, however, that Sister was also working on a plan.

Not Amused!

Sister's plan involves me dressing up like one of the Bunny's kin in an attempt to lure him into a false sense of security.  I wagged my tail politely as she explained her plan to me, but I immediately could sense that Sister's suggestion was bound to impact me negatively.  It was then that Sister produced "The Ears."  At first, I mistook "The Ears" for a fluffy toy, but, on closer inspection, I realized that they weren't toys at all.  Like the good dog I am, I humored Sister and allowed her to balance the headband on my head then take a picture.  But then all my goodness ran out.  After hearing the click of the camera, I snatched the cookie Sister was using to distract me from "The Ears," threw my head back with a quick jerk, and caught "The Ears" as they flew off of my head and into the air (and Pa complains that I don't play catch).

Just a Little Mangled

Well, all hell broke loose after that.  I ran around in circles flipping the headband in the air, chomping on the yellow fluffy ears, and dragging them through the mud.  But that wasn't the best part of the entire experience.  Nope, the real enjoyment came from watching Sister run after me begging me to drop "The Ears."  At one point, she even tried enticing me over to her with a cookie (I resisted--the cookie looked good but my stolen prize was far more valuable).

Needless to say, "The Ears" are no more.  I definitely dodged a bullet on that one.

So bunnies beware.  My plan will be in affect starting first thing Sunday.