Summer Vacation 2015

Me on Vacation

A few weeks ago, I spent fourteen days on the North Fork of Long Island vacationing with my family.  During the course of those two weeks, I came to realize that I absolutely love being a dog of leisure.  Don't get me wrong, I love my house, my pillow, and the fact that I have an opportunity each week to bark at the guy who comes around with that noisy shopping cart collecting bottles from the recycling bin, but there are some definite highlights to life out east including central air conditioning inside and a warm sunny deck outside.  But my days out east weren't just about alternating between snoozing in the warm sun and cool air conditioning.  No, they included exciting, tasty, and sometimes unsettling events.

But before I wow you with my vacation highlights, allow me to take a moment to compliment whoever in my family came up with the traveling arrangements for this trip.  You see, Pa and I traveled in one car while Ma, Sister, and the hamster Betsy Ross drove out in a second.  What's so special about taking two cars?  I get the backseat all to myself!  You see, when Sister and I travel in the back seat together, I spend an uncomfortable hour and a half fighting for my fair share of the seat and listening to Sister drone on and on about how she doesn't have enough room or I'm drooling on her.  Also, I spend the entire time fidgeting--I stand up, I sit down, I lie down, I repeat.  But when Sister takes her own car, I get to stretch out across the entire length of the backseat.  And because I have the entire back seat to myself, I remain in the down position for the entire duration of the trip.  Sure, I love the girl, but traveling without her is so much more pleasant than traveling with her.

That said, here are some highlights from my two week summer vacation:

Visiting Greenport:  

Whenever someone suggests taking a drive out to Greenport, I can't help but get excited.  Why?  Because Greenport is such a dog friendly town!  Whenever I go there, I see dozens of dogs strolling around with their owners and nearly every store keeps a bowl of fresh water on its doorstep.

This year, Pa and I decided to hang out at Mitchell Park while Ma and Sister went shopping.  First, we strolled up and down the marina, but after a little while, Pa suggested that we go find a nice shady spot to sit in because it was really kind of getting warm.  But there was a problem with this plan; there aren't many shady spots in that particular park.  After much searching, I finally located a tree and, after dragging Pa to it, I threw myself down onto the cool grass.  Now, if I hadn't been so preoccupied by the blessed relief of shade (I was the one wearing the fur coat after all!), I would have noticed that there was no bench for Pa to sit on.  Always the trouper, Pa sacrificed one for the team and stood in place while I lounged in the grass.

While Pa and I hung out under the shady tree waiting for Ma and Sister, I was visited by a number of little dogs and some overly friendly children.  The children kind of reminded me of my bff Mecki (really hyper and super bouncy).  Working off that concept, I concluded that since Mecki is fond of the hair gel drool treatment I give him each time we meet, then the children would equally enjoy it.  Yep, you guessed it!  I made sure to thoroughly wipe my drooly chin over each and every child.  You should have seen their faces!

Meeting a New Friend

Being so far from home, we generally don't get many surprise visitors out east.  In fact, with the exception of the occasional gardener, air conditioner repairman, or deliveryman, most visitors arrive in the same car as I do and are therefore not really a surprise visitor.  That changed on the second Thursday of vacation.

My family returned home from Riverhead to find their friend Den circling the block looking for the house.  Now, I've never met Den and no one informed me that he was coming, so when I scurried out of the house to greet my family with my Mr. Bill toy clenched in my mouth, I was, let's just say, taken by surprise.  I started barking furiously at Den (with Mr. Bill still in my mouth) while cautiously approaching him.  At first, every time he reached down to pet me I backed away, but eventually I warmed up to him and by the time he was eating the soft pretzel and beer my family offered him, we were best buds.

Baiting the Dogs Next Door

As my loyal readers know, I don't get along particularly well with the dogs next door.  Sure, I used to get along with the dog my family and I affectionately called "Sausage Dog," but his owner was only renting and he left a few months ago.  Now I'm left with the two dogs who bark menacingly at me every time they see me.

Anyway, overall I'm a good boy and don't stoop to their level by barking back at them (I save my barking for important causes such as car doors being slammed in the distance and pedestrians walking by my house).  However, I must admit that I don't deserve a halo and angel wings in this situation either.  You see, whenever the neighbor dogs charge the fence and start barking, I strike one of my signature poses and stand perfectly still in the middle of the yard.  This annoys the dogs to no end and they start barking even more.  Eventually, the neighbors bring their dogs back inside.

My work here is done.

A New Treat
 
One evening after dinner, my entire family and I went outside into the backyard and set up in a circle around the fire pit.  Once the fire was good and strong (Pa was in charge of making sure that I didn't set my tail on fire), Sister went inside and got a bag of white fluffy things (they called them marshmallows) and three incredibly long sticks.  The sticks caught my eye first since one of my favorite hobbies is making large sticks into smaller sticks and I couldn't help but wonder how it was that these three sticks had escaped my detection inside the house.  After a couple of minutes, however, I came to realize that the sticks were not the highlight of the event--the marshmallows were.  Realizing that I had never had one before, Sister suggested that I be given my very own toasted marshmallow, but the idea was scrapped because apparently soft sticky marshmallows and a handsome furry face is not a great combination.  Instead, I was given a raw marshmallow.  It was delicious!

A Dental Extraction

My loyal readers will recall the time I accidentally bit Pa while he attempted to retrieve a chewy-bone from the back of my mouth (for those who don't remember, the post is here).  Since then, my family has been, understandably, a bit hesitant about going in after something I'm chomping on (and that's fine by me...I'm personally still traumatized by the events of that day).  At one point during this vacation, however, Sister had to risk her fingers when I got a piece of blue chewy bone lodged between my bottom front teeth.

At first, Sister went for a frontal attack:  She walked right up to me, grabbed hold of my head, pried up my lip, and tried to grab the offending piece of blue plastic with her fingers.  I'm proud to say I fought her the entire time--shaking my head and eventually walking away.  Undeterred, Sister tried a different (and very sneaky) approach:  She waited until I was fast asleep, grabbed and pried back my lip, and, while I was still groggy and just waking up, managed to pinch and pry the blue plastic out from between my teeth.  Ultimately, it was a win-win situation for Sister and me.  I received a cookie for my troubles and Sister managed to walk away with all her fingers.

When Bugs Attack

For whatever reason, the bugs were particularly active during the two weeks I was out east.  The result was not one but two bug attacks! 

Attack Bee!

• Attack Number 1:  There I was lounging on the deck, minding my own business, when all of a sudden a giant bumble bee made a, pardon the pun, bee line from the hydrangea bushes framing the deck to the back of my head.  Now, I know it might sound odd, but I could actually feel when that bee landed on me and I immediately started straining my neck, trying to reach and, ultimately eat, the unwanted passenger.  Ma and Pa also saw the bee land on me and they quickly jumped up from their seats and shooed it away before I could extract it myself.  Of course, one might question why a bee would mistake me for a flower.  Not me.  I know exactly why.  It's because of the stinky flowery shampoo Ma insists on washing me with.

• Attack Number 2:  Later in the week, Ma, Sister, and I were lounging in the backyard.  All of a sudden, a bird came shooting out of the sky and a loud squawking sound echoed from underneath Ma's seat.  Ma, concerned that a baby bird had just fallen out of the tree, jumped up and grabbed hold of my collar.  Sister, hearing the squawking, struggled to get out of her folding chair (the built in canopy folded down in front of her face when she raised the chair from its reclining position).  And me?  Well, I jumped up and, immediately realizing where the sound was coming from, struggled against Ma's grip and inched my way toward her chair.  Sister, finally beating her chair into submission, managed to make her way to Ma's chair and discovered that the squawking creature was not a baby bird but a katydid.  After much screaming, pleading, and promises of cookies, Ma and Sister wrestled me into the house and sent Pa outside to deal with the bug (which he tossed over the neighbor's fence).

Water Water Everywhere:

When I'm lounging on my deck in the morning, I like to have a nice bowl of water nearby.  Of course, the top two reasons why I like a bowl of water nearby are for when I'm thirsty and when I need a quick slobbery chin to drag across someone's pant leg.  A third reason is that I like to dunk my paws in the water from time to time to cool off.  This poses a problem, however.  After a couple of stokes of my paw, my bowl is usually completely empty and I'm suddenly dependent upon whoever is outside with me to notice that my bowl is void of water and refill it for me.

Ma, however, came up with a great solution.  While in Greenport, she bought me a 5.5 quart water bowl.  Now I can dig in my bowl and blow proper bubbles when I submerge my snout under the water line.

Thanks Ma! 

Kindling:

On the deck, my family keeps a pile of split logs for fires in the fireplace.  Because we're only out there part of the week, the number of fires we light are rather limited.  As a result, the wood sits there on the deck day in and day out and the only changes that occur to the collection is when a dried out tree branch falls in the backyard and someone adds it to the pile as kindling.  Well, on this vacation, I decided to claim the wood pile for my own.

You see, normally, I have to search out my own sticks to gnaw on.  In a big backyard like the one out east, this can be a daunting task.  But with a pile of sticks just sitting there on the deck, how can I possibly pass up the opportunity to help myself whenever I pass by?  I mean, it's like a kindling buffet!  Eventually, everyone caught on to my plan and started warning me to leave the pile alone every time I sauntered over to it, but I did manage to grab a couple of sticks and scurry off into the backyard with them (where I turned them into smaller kindling).

Kayaking:

Ma and Pa Kayaking

Throughout the vacation, my family spoke repeatedly of renting a kayak and each time they did, I nearly broke out in a cold sweat.  Why?  Think about it.  In every television show that features videos of amazing dogs doing amazing things, there is always at least one video of a dog standing calmly at the helm of a canoe or surf board while his owner sits or stand behind him.  Did my family expect me to do the same thing?  Don't they realize I dislike becoming buoyant in water?

Luckily, I was not invited on this excursion.  All I can say is, better them than me!

Vacation

Greetings from a devilishly handsome pup who recently returned from a thirteen day excursion to sunny eastern Long Island; a land of big back yards, interesting smells, and, most importantly, central air coupled with cool floors.

 

 

Introducing Betsy Ross!

Yep, that’s right, I was on vacation, and it was great from its very first minutes. You see, my family took two cars out east: Pa and I drove out in his car while Ma, Sister, and the newest hamster Betsy Ross took Sister’s car. This is my favorite driving arrangement—it means that I don’t have to share the backseat with Sister (nothing against the girl, but I think her continued insistence that she is allotted a full one third of the backseat can only be described as unreasonable).

But as wonderful as the ride was, it paled in comparison to the fun that was to come over the next week and a half. Here’s some of the stuff I did:

• I stole a toy sword from the little boy who lives next door. Now, before anyone thinks me a brute, allow me to explain that the sword was on my side of the fence so, legally, it was mine. Anyway, I grabbed hold of the sword by its handle and ran around the backyard with Sister in hot pursuit (I think she thought that I might try to threaten a squirrel with it—not a bad idea!). After a couple of loops around the backyard, I found a nice cool spot on the grass, plopped down, and proceeded to gnaw on the sword’s handle. Sister caught up with me shortly thereafter and took the sword away from me. She then threw the sword back over the fence into the neighbor’s yard. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
• I defended my turf against the exterminator…wearing a bee suit. I won’t lie, the bee suit threw me at first, but I quickly recovered and barked at him both with and without a tennis ball in my mouth (I am truly gifted when it comes to barking...my family doesn’t call me a “barky boy” for nothing). 
• I tried my hand at old fashioned letter writing by sending a postcard to my friends Mecki, Bastille, and Ralphie (the problem with writing postcards is that they don’t allow for random pictures to be inserted into the text for no apparent reason). 

  

  See?!  Random is Good!

• I bunked noses with “Sausage Dog” who lives next door (I was also barked at—rather unpleasantly—by the other two dogs living next door, but I didn’t let that bother me). 
• I found a smelly chunk of fish in the backyard and, while Pa and Sister wouldn’t let me eat it, I did get a few licks in before anyone realized it was there. This marks the second time that a fish was discovered in my backyard. The first time happened a few weeks ago when Pa discovered an entire fish lying in the grass (talk about unseasonable weather!). I’m hoping the next piece of fish comes with tartar sauce and lemon. 
• I added a new variation the daily squeaky bone/squeaky football game that I play with Pa, Ma, and Sister. 
1. My playmate throws my squeaker toy as far across the yard as he can (Pa is very good at this step—he throws it very far; Sister isn’t so good, in fact, she nearly clocked me a couple of times when she accidentally threw my toy downward rather than outward).
2. I sprint after the toy, grab it in my mouth, take two steps, then throw myself down into the grass to chew on the squeaker. 
3. My playmate, who by this time has walked the entire length of the yard to my current location, tries to grab my toy, but I get up and run away, my toy clenched firmly in my mouth. 
4. And here’s the new addition to the game: I run toward the house, gallop up the ten steps onto the porch, and sit down patiently at the side door as my playmate trudges across the yard and up the stairs after me. Upon getting the toy from me, my playmate then chucks it back into the yard, and makes his way down the steps and back into the yard. 
5. Repeat steps two through four over and over and over again (and let me tell you, the look on my playmate’s face as he climbs the stairs for the sixth time is priceless). 

A Sample of My Handiwork

• I took a large branch that fell from one of the trees in the backyard and turned it into a pile of smaller branches. Now, if Ma hadn’t taken those smaller branches away from me when she did, I would have turned them into even smaller sticks and, eventually, landscaping chips.

But what was the absolute, number one highlight of the entire vacation (aside from cool floor tiles and central air I spoke of earlier)? Paws down, it was my trip to the beach.

My Beach

The day started extremely early and with a flourish of activity. Everyone was up: Ma, Pa, and, oddly enough, Sister who usually doesn’t make an appearance until much later in the morning (she shares my love for sleeping late). But even more peculiar (and distressing) was the fact that, despite everyone being up and about, no one was showing any sign of getting me my breakfast. And so, with an empty stomach, Ma, Pa, Sister, and I piled into Pa’s car and pulled out of the driveway. A few short blocks later, Pa parked the car and we all got out. As soon as I got a whiff of the cool bay breeze I knew where we were and immediately started pulling Pa in the direction of the beach.

Pa and Me

Up and down the beach I ran, kicking up sand as I went. Occasionally, I’d run a little too fast and a little too far and come to a quick halt when I ran out of leash (Pa, restricted by the fact that he has only has two legs, couldn’t keep up with me and my four legs), but even that didn’t slow me down—I’d just go right back to running. Then, all of a sudden, I got an idea. Why not run into the water?

Now, I’ve been to this beach before, but when I was there last it was winter time (there was snow on the ground) and I was not allowed to play in the water because Ma said it was too cold (though I did disobey her by running, full force, toward the water to dip my nose into the freezing cold surf—it was a less than pleasant experience).

Anyway, this time, no one stopped me from running into the water. In fact, everyone came in after me; even Ma (though not as deep as me). And speaking of deep water—I waded all the way in until the water was up to the middle of my chest. Pa and Sister tried to get me to go in further; tried to get me to swim, but, as my loyal readers know from my profile bio, I don’t like to swim (or, more precisely, float).

 

Water in My Ears

So in and out of the water I ran, snapping at the waves, sniffing the seaweed, skidding down the dunes, and occasionally, taking a breather by lying on the warm sandy beach or in the cool shallow water. And as exhausted as I was when Pa said it was time to go home, I really wanted to stay (it didn’t help that I was told that there was a bath waiting for me when I got home).

Needless to say, I slept well that afternoon.

Of course, there were a handful of places that my family went where I was not allowed to join them (why certain establishments feel the need to forbid dogs—especially sophisticated, world famous bloggers such as myself—from entering their establishments will never make sense to me). Overall, I was okay with this arrangement; we all need some time to ourselves (it’s exhausting to keep track of Pa, Ma, and Sister), not to mention, I’d happily exchange a walk through Greenport on a 90 degree day for barking at the dogs next door from within my air conditioned house.

There was, however, one place I would have liked to have gone with my family: the aquarium. Why? Because, according to Sister, a relative of Mecki’s baby brother Bastille was there. You see, Mecki has repeatedly likened his new baby brother to a piranha because he’s all teeth. And what did Sister see at the aquarium?

Is it a piranha or is it Bastille?

So, overall, it was a great vacation. I played, I barked, I (nearly) floated, I napped, I stole, I smelled stinky things, and I lounged in air conditioned comfort. I’m home now, with my extensive collection of tennis balls, plush toys misshapen from multiple surgeries and amputations (I missed you Nuclear Bunny), and a herd of bunnies in the backyard who, I’m sure, have become quite cocky in my absence.

Whew...I think I'm going to need another vacation real soon!

Greetings from Eastern Long Island!