Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

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A Scary Story

Boo!

A Forward by the Author...

In hindsight, I should have figured it out long before I found it; long before I stared into its cold dead hollow eyes.  But I didn't.  I was too busy being my charming self to put all the pieces of the puzzle together until it was too late.  Here's my tale.

Monday: 

6:30AM:    The entire household is awake--even Sister who is definitely not a morning person.  Not only is everyone awake, but there is a certain feeling of urgency in the house.  Suddenly, Sister drags a suitcase down from her bedroom.  Pa grabs it and puts it in Ma's car along with a knapsack.  I get a hug and a kiss from Sister.  Pa rubs my head, calls me "Squirt," and tells me to be good.  Ma grabs her car keys and informs me that my breakfast will have to wait until she gets back.  Disappointed, I head back to bed as everyone else leaves the house.

7:30AM:  The side door opens and I am greeted by Ma and only Ma.  Pa and Sister are nowhere to be found.  I'm not overly concerned.  I'm often left home alone during the day when my family goes to work, and while I would have preferred to have my entire pack stay home with me, I'm glad that Ma appears to be keeping me company today.  Ma settles down with her coffee to watch TV and I join her on the couch.

12:00PM:  Lunch time!  This is the time of day that Sister usually comes home, eats her lunch, and then lets me out into the backyard to work on my holes.  But Sister never shows.  It's just me and Ma.  Ma makes herself some lunch.  It smells really good, but she doesn't offer me any despite my assurance that Sister always shares at least 3/4 of her sandwich with me (perhaps I was pushing it with 3/4...maybe I should have only said 1/3).

1:00PM:  Lunch is over and Ma takes me outside to sniff around in the yard.  Since it isn't nearly as large as the yard out east, I finish quickly.  Bored, I look for fun in my number one digging hole--the one underneath the forsythia bush.  Ma is distracted--she's talking with our neighbor--and doesn't notice me digging.  She also doesn't notice that I have found something in my hole besides the usual dirt, rocks, and tree roots.  I extract my find and carry it out into the middle of the yard to examine it.  I have two jaw bones, complete with teeth.  "That's odd," I think.  Suddenly, a hand emerges from above and snatches the jaw bones away from me.  Startled, I look up and discover Ma standing over me examining the bones.  "Where did you find these?" she asked with, I swear, a touch of annoyance in her voice.

5:00PM:  Work is out, yet Sister hasn't come home yet.  Ma makes me my dinner.  Why do I hesitate before eating?

10:00PM:  It is time for bed and yet Pa and Sister are still not home.  I curl up next to Ma on Pa's side of the bed.

Tuesday:

7:00AM:  Ma wakes me up by banging on my breakfast bowl.  I'm exhausted.  I didn't sleep well last night.  I kept thinking about those jaw bones and wondering where Pa and Sister were.  Neither are home.

10:00AM:  Ma is changing the sheets on the bed and washing some laundry.  I've seen her do this thousands of times, yet I find this activity oddly suspicious this morning.  Is she trying to hide something?  Still no sign of Pa or Sister.

The Skull and Jawbones

2:00PM:  I've decided to return to the scene of the crime; I need to search for answers.  Ma is once again distracted by the next door neighbor so I have the chance to continue my search.  I start to dig.  I jump back in horror.  I've uncovered a skull!  A bit queasy, I pick it up and carry it into the yard. The skin is gone--it is just bleached white bone.  I stare into the hollow eyes.  It stares back at me.  Do I recognize the face?  No, but that doesn't mean anything.  With dread, I realize that I must be staring at either Pa or Sister.

Something makes me look up and I'm startled to find Ma standing over me.  I grab the skull and she grabs me by my collar yelling to "drop it!"  I do as I'm told.  Ma picks up the skull and examines it.  She doesn't seem particularly troubled by the sight and merely stalks off angrily toward the garage.

My mind is racing a mile a minute.  What has Ma done?  Was that Pa or was that Sister?  Then a sickening thought pops into my head.  If Ma was driven to do in Pa and Sister, then what chance do I have to make it through this madness?  Sure, I'm better looking and much friendlier than Pa and Sister, but I'm not sure these attributes are enough to spare my life.  Let's be honest, I do have a bit of a barking, drooling, and shedding problem.  I am doomed.

2:05PM:  Ma emerges from the garage; the lopper in her hand.  She marches toward me.  My life flashes before my eyes:

I see myself as a cute little puppy, throwing up in the back seat of the car on the way home from where I was born.  I see myself gnawing on my family's hands, jumping out of a moving vehicle doing 30 mph, and threatening to drop Pa's sneaker on Mecki's head.  I see myself digging holes, picking up voles, and barking at horses.  It was short, but it was fun.

I'm done.  This is it.  It will be my skull that the police find in the hole under the forsythia.   I close my eyes as Ma gets closer.  I don't want to watch.  I don't want to watch!

But nothing happens.

Cautiously, I open my eyes.  Ma isn't there.  Suddenly I hear a loud "crunch."  I jump with fright.  I turn around and find Ma.  She is angrily hacking away at the forsythia bush.

3:00PM:  Ma puts down the lopper and stands back to inspect her work.  The forsythia lives, but all the hidden nooks and crannies that I used to hide behind are gone; Ma cut away all the low hanging branches.

Suddenly, Ma turns around and looks at me.  I try to be brave, but I can't help but cringe a little.  "You're filthy," she says, "you need a bath."

I'm led to the side of the house by my leash.  Ma pulls out the hose and picks up a bottle of what appears to be shampoo.  But is it?  Is the shampoo shampoo or is it bleach?  Is the hose there to wash away the mud or the inevitable blood?  Ma rolls up her sleeves and...

3:20PM:  It was worse than I expected:  I got a bath.

5:00PM:  Pa and Sister are still missing and all my holes have been filled in in the backyard.  I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to get back to them to investigate further; now that I'm clean, Ma won't let me out on my own.  Resigned to my current position, I eat my dinner.

11:30PM:  I sleep in Pa's spot again this evening.  Ma has a sneezing fit.  I jump each time she sneezes; they sound like gunshot.

Wednesday:

8:00AM:  I'm still missing Pa and Sister.  I eat my breakfast then go back to bed.

1:30PM:  "I'll be right back," Ma tells me as she gives me a cookie and walks out the door.

1:50PM: I wake up to the sound of the side gate clicking open then shut.  I hear the key in the door and the door squeaking open.  This is it.  I know it.  I feel it in my core.  It is my turn to join Pa and Sister under the forsythia.  Despondently, I get up.  I might as well face my fate head on and not slip into oblivion while sleeping.  I drag myself out of the bedroom, into the hallway, through the kitchen, and out the side door which Ma is holding open for me. The bright light of the sun blinds me at first, but then my eyes adjust and I see...

Pa and Sister!

I'm so excited!  I run to Pa.  He scratches my ear.  I run to Sister who kisses my snout.  I return to Pa for another scratch and then run back to Sister.  I do this two more times before I suddenly remember...the skull!  I hot foot it into the backyard.

While I sniff around under the forsythia, I hear Ma tell Pa and Sister (both had been sightseeing in Philadelphia) about my discoveries.  She leads them to the garage (I wander after them).  She shows them the bones which she's kept hidden since I found them.  Everyone is shocked by my find, but after careful consideration, they come up with a "logical" explanation.

The skull belonged to a long deceased opossum.  You see, over the last few weeks, a raccoon's nest has been falling piece by piece from the tree overhead.  The skull in question must have fallen from that nest (the remains of a meal long ago eaten or perhaps a tacky wall decoration) and embedded itself in the overgrown forsythia which was then deposited into my ever growing hole as I brushed past the low hanging bushes.

Do I believe this story?  I don't know.  All I know is that everyone in my family is safe and the only victim (well, aside from the owner of the skull) is me.  I'm the one, after all, who got a bath!