Christmas Roundup 2021

Here's where it ended...

Me completely and totally exhausted after two fun filled days of new toys, tasty food, and lots of ear rubs.

In other words, Christmas 2021 was highly successful.

Here are some highlights from the holiday:

On Christmas Eve, I opened up gifts from my friend Gina and her pups Baci and Rocky.  They got me a pretty Christmas tree ornament with my name on it (Sister assured me that, despite looking delicious, the ornament was not edible...I'm still not sure I believe her) and a bag of snacks which I insisted on sampling immediately.

 

On Christmas morning, my family and I opened gifts which resulted in me:

 

Shredding a ton of wrapping paper,

 

accidentally consuming some wrapping paper,

 

 

and destroying one box.

 

When I wasn't "playing" with the boxes, I played with my own gifts:

A stuffed cow from my friend Jim and his pup Dixie,

a stuffed fox from Pa and Ma,

and a stuffed prehistoric turtle-like-creature from Sister.

Later, I even appeased Sister by agreeing to a quick picture with her in front of the tree (which actually turned out pretty good).

So yes, by the end of the day, I was completely and totally spent.  But it was so much fun!

Merry Christmas, 2021

 

Wishing you a very
Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

 

Rigby the Grifter (AKA Sophie)

I’m not proud of it, but then again, I’m not ashamed either.

Throughout the years I’ve learned how to play my family to my benefit in many situations.  I’ve trained them to give me cookies for simply coming inside the house.  I’ve trained them to give me PB&Ks to ensure a few moments of silent television watching.  I’ve even trained my family to provide me options when it comes to toys so that I can dismiss those I don’t want.  My latest long con, however, is pure brilliance and Sister is the mark. 

Lately, Sister has opted to stay home most weekends when Pa, Ma, and I head out to eastern Long Island.  This decision impacts me both positively and negatively.  On the positive side, I don’t have to share the backseat of the car with Sister (she’s under the delusion that she deserves more than one eighth of the available space back there).  On the negative side, when she’s not around, there’s one less set of hands to scratch my belly and rub my ears and one less voice to repeatedly tell me what a good boy I am.  Also, without Sister, there’s only two people to give me cookies throughout the day which is troubling because Ma and Pa tend to be a bit stingy on that front.

So, with all these negatives outstripping the positives, I’ve dedicated myself to leveling the playing field when I can and I’ve done so in the sneakiest of ways.

Two months ago, while I was out east for the weekend, Sister, as a surprise, went to the store and bought me a brand new toy which she left on my spot on the living room couch.  When I got home that Sunday, Sister watched with delight and mockery as I wandered around for a good five minutes before discovering my prize.

The next week, hoping for another opportunity to mock my supposed “obliviousness,” Sister once again bought me a new toy and left it on my spot.  This time, it only took me three minutes to find it.

The following week, Sister didn’t go to the toy store, but she did repair all the toys in the doll hospital which meant that I came home to the scarred and sometimes considerably smaller (Sister specializes in amputations) remains of my previously broken toys sitting on the couch waiting for me to rip to shreds again (which I did…five of them were back in the doll hospital before the end of the day).

On week four, I made a bee-line straight to my spot on the couch immediately upon entering the house.  To my horror, however, I found nothing.  No new toy and no crowd of mangled sting rays and dinosaurs and ducks and Mini-Meckis and gators and hedgehogs.  I was crushed!  Why was there no new toy?  My obvious disappointment (and Ma and Pa’s ribbing) helped to make Sister feel extremely guilty for this faux pas.

It was at that moment that I knew that my long con had worked.  There was no way that Sister would let another weekend go by without ensuring that a new toy would be waiting for me upon my return.

Seven days later, week five arrived and not only did I rush toward the house as soon as I got out of the car, but I basically pushed Sister out of the way as I ran through the kitchen and into the living room.

And there it was, my latest new toy, sitting in my spot on the couch.  His name is “Koala” and I can’t wait to see what friend the next Sister-free weekend brings.

Thanksgiving 2021

Wishing all my friends, family, and fans a very

 

Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving!

 

May the ear scratches from family always hit the spot and may the table scraps be plentiful.

 

Camping

Sister and I went camping last weekend. 

Okay, we went glamping. 

Fine, we slept on the floor in the living room for two nights. 

Camping during TS Ida

No matter what you call it, I love it.  Throughout the years, I’ve had many camping excursions.  When I’m not feeling well, Ma usually sits up with me in the living room.  When Sister isn’t feeling well, she’s been known to relocate to her chair to spend the night.  And when there’s a scary wind storm going through the area, Sister’s always quick to head to lower ground (and away from the giant oak that used to live right outside her window). 

So why did we camp out this weekend?  Well, Sister and I were home alone together and rather than drag me upstairs to her bedroom and devise a way of keeping me on the second floor when I normally sleep on the first, Sister thought it would be a heck of a lot easier and fun if we just camped out on the living room floor.  She was right on all counts. 

On the first night of our camping trip, I settled down next to Sister and I fell asleep while she scratched my side.  I woke up only once that night when Sister poked me because I was dreaming and kicking her in my sleep.  On the second night, however, I decided that I wanted upgrade my sleeping accommodations.  So, as soon as Sister made up her bed on the floor, I...well...took over. 

A Bedtime Upgrade

Needless to say, Sister was less than pleased with my decision to upgrade my bed, but what was she going to do?  I had, upon settling down, immediately gone into my floppy dead weight mode—a state in which I cannot be physically moved.  So Sister spent the first part of the night in her chair and only regained her bed after I, feeling a little overheated, moved on to the cold wood floor to sleep.  I’ve never seen Sister move so quickly in my life.

Me and George

Lookin' Good

There is no such thing as a boring walk.  There’s always...

1. Someone to meet (human and/or canine);
2. Something to sniff (I’m a big fan of corner fences); and/or 
3. Someplace to pull (usually from one side of the street to the other).
   

On Saturday, Sister took me for a walk to the park and, aside from pulling her from one side of the block to the other, I got to meet not one but two new human friends. 

At first, I didn’t realize that Sister and I weren’t alone on the block—I was too busy sniffing every fence post and blade of grass to notice.  I only realized that a man and a woman were walking toward us when Sister pulled me aside onto the apron between the sidewalk and the street to allow the couple to pass us by unobstructed on the sidewalk. 

But pass us by they did not. Instead, they stopped and extended their hands for me to sniff.  Obviously friend and not foe, I leaned in toward both to take advantage of the scratches they seemed so eager to share.  “What’s his name?” the woman asked as I dragged my drooly frothy chin across her black sweater sleeve from wrist to elbow.  Sister, speaking on my behalf because I was too busy enjoying all the attention to respond myself, shared my name, apologized for the drool, and then engaged in a conversation with the couple about what a good boy I am and how I’m just a big softie (luckily there were no other dogs around to hear this admission). 

“How old is he?” the friendly lady with the drool up and down her arm asked. 

“Almost twelve and a half years old,” Sister replied. 

The man and the woman gasped and commented on how handsome and good looking I am. 

What can I say?  I’m the George Clooney of dogs.

 

Halloween 2021

 

Happy Halloween!

 

^^..^^

An Extreme Lapse in Security

Allow me to set the scene.  It was a pleasantly cool sunny day in late September and I was taking full advantage of the weather by napping on the deck out east.  With homeland security always foremost in my mind, I purposely positioned myself so that I was facing out toward the street, ready to pounce should an intruder attack.  To the untrained eye, I might have appeared to be sleeping, but it was all a ruse.  I was a coiled spring ready to defend my turf at a moment’s notice. 

So ready was I that, a few minutes later, from what appeared to be a dead sleep, I was awakened by the smell of squirrel on the wind.  Snout in the air, I successfully tracked the furry little interloper across the deck and into the backyard.

But when I came back up onto the deck after showing the squirrel the door, Ma, who was also taking part in deck-time, was laughing at me.  It was only later, when Ma was talking to Pa, that I learned why she was laughing.  Apparently, there had been a massive breach in security.

Here’s what Ma saw:

Ma was sitting on the deck, reading her book, and, not far out in front of her, I was snoozing.  Suddenly, Ma heard a scuttling sound of tiny paws coming up from behind her.  She looked up from her book just in time to see a squirrel come strolling out from under her chair.  In disbelief, Ma watched as the squirrel continued walking forward and right past me acting, for all the world, like I wasn’t even there.  I, meanwhile, continued to snooze totally undisturbed.

A second later, Ma witnessed a second squirrel come scuttling up onto the porch and come to a halt besides her.  Ma watched in disbelief as the squirrel just stood there, completely oblivious of her and me.  Concerned that this entire event could end poorly, Ma moved her leg as a way of alerting the squirrel to the fact that he was not alone on the porch.  It was a good thing that she did because, based on the startled jump it did straight into the air, the squirrel wasn’t even remotely aware that he wasn’t alone.  I, meanwhile, continued snoozing.  After a moment, the squirrel regained his composure, did a reverse face, and hightailed it into the backyard.

It was shortly thereafter that I was awakened by the smell of squirrel on the wind.  Snout in the air, I successfully tracked the furry little interloper across the deck and into the backyard.

Needless to say, this entire event highlighted an extreme lapse in my security system and proved to be beyond embarrassing for me personally.  A full inquiry into the events of that cool sunny day will commence shortly.

A Bilingual Boy

I am bilingual. Obviously, I know my mother tongue and use it often (when I’m happy, when I’m sulking, when I want something, when I’m tapping into the neighborhood hotline, when someone walks in front of my house, when I imagine someone walking in front of my house, etc.), but I also know English. In fact, I am actually quite fluent in spoken English if I do say so myself. 

In my mind, English words fall into four categories: important words, upsetting words, tricks and commands, and reminders.

Under the heading of important words are words like dinner, supper, walk, cookie, and do you wanna followed by a fun activity (i.e., do you wanna go to work and do you wanna go in the AC?).

Upsetting words include species on my list of arch enemies (squirrels, bunnies, etc.) and the scary way the woman in the smoke detector says “fi-re.”

Tricks and commands include boring instructional words like sit, down, wait, and come as well as all the performance tricks I’ve learned throughout the years including say your prayers, eights (a personal favorite of mine), paw, high five, wave, one potato-two potato, BANG!, and let’s dance.

Reminders include phrases like “Rigs, go do your business” for when I’ve forgotten why I’ve gone outside, “focus” for when I am distracted when I should be focusing on actually doing business, and “we’re not here to eat grass” for when I’m escorted out of the backyard because, well, while I love the taste of grass, grass doesn’t love me.

But, being the overachiever that I am, I decided not to stop solely at being fluent in the spoken word. I have also learned a number written English words as well.

For instance, the words Chewy and Baskin-Robbins both mean Rigby, or more precisely, something for Rigby. I recognize that boxes clearly marked Chewy include toys, food, bones, and, unfortunately, shampoo, while Baskin-Robbins bags have ice cream inside them (which I get to sample). And let me tell you, when those boxes and bags enter the house, well, let’s just say they get my full and undivided attention.