Lizard Sans Tail |
Below are two examples of my favorite loopholes and how I use them to my advantage.
Example One:
Begging for Food
Begging for Food
But the thing is, I’m not allowed to beg for food. It’s a rule that has been in place since I was a tiny little ball of fur with large gnashing teeth. First of all, I've been told that it’s impolite to beg. Second, my drooling problem is exaggerated when food is involved. In fact, my drooling is such a problem that I have been taught the command “go someplace absorbent” (meaning to get off the hardwood floor and go sit on a rug).
Of course, I often ignore the "no begging" rule, but when I'm not blatantly ignoring it, I take full advantage of an obvious loophole which marries my love of food and my love of being comfortable.
You see, each evening I wait patiently for my taste of ice cream by laying on my spot on the living room couch, not one foot away from where Ma is sitting. To all the world, I am just resting in my spot; curled up into a ball with my head down on the sheet used to keep all the fur, dirt, and drool off the couch. In reality, however, I am staring intently at Ma’s bowl of ice cream, willing her to drop it, while drooling with gusto into my blanket.
Example Two:
Dig, Dig, Digging
Dig, Dig, Digging
Another big “no, no” in my life is digging. Sure, I’m allowed to dig in the doggy pool or in a man-made snowdrift, but other than that, the action is seriously frowned upon. But, like begging, I’ve never completely cut digging out of my life.
I “dig, dig, dig” under the forsythia.
I “dig, dig, dig” under the cherry tree by the fence.
I “dig, dig, dig” in the vegetable garden.
I “dig, dig, dig,” in the flower garden.
I even “dig, dig, dig” inside the house on the rug.
But like I said, I’m technically not supposed to dig, so, when I feel like digging, but don’t feel like getting in trouble, I switch over to the loophole: rolling in the grass.
I love rolling around in the grass. First, I plow my head into the ground. Then I slide along on my shoulder--propelled forward by my back legs--for a time. Next, I drop my back end onto the ground with a thud and start rolling back and forth over and over again in the dirt, dust, and grass. My recorded record for rolling has been thirteen back and forths, but for me, the record is actually determined by how muddy my nose gets and whether or not I end up with a grass stain on my head.
Me and My Work |
So, my word of advice, garnered from years of experience is: look for and take full advantage of the loopholes in life.