Stretch Rigby

When you wake up in the morning, do you stretch?  When you feel like all your limbs are in a knot, do you stretch your arms out in an attempt to loosen up?  Did anyone have to teach you?

Well, when I was a little puppy I didn't know how to stretch.  Whenever I tried to stretch my legs out behind me, I ended up falling over and was subsequently mocked by my family.  As a result, I found a different way to stretch.  I'd stand up straight and tall on my four legs and arch my back up in the center.  It was great; I didn't fall over and I got a good stretch.  Unfortunately, I was still mocked because apparently I was now stretching like a cat (at the time I didn't know what a cat was--now I'm truly insulted by the comparison).  "Shouldn't dogs know how to stretch innately?" my family frequently asked aloud.  I felt a bit depressed by my inability to stretch properly but, because I was too busy stealing things, ripping up things, and gnawing on people's hands, I didn't dwell on it too much.

It wasn't until I was a little over one year old that I learned how to properly stretch.  You see, that summer my family was going to take a trip to Maine and decided that I should stay at the home of my good friend Ken the Dog Trainer (Ken was instrumental in turning me into a well behaved dog which was not an easy feat considering I had, in my family's words "a bad attitude" and far too many large gnashing teeth) and the other dogs he was boarding.  Let me tell you, I had so much fun!  I boxed and chest bunked a boxer and learned to play nice with little dogs (that's why I get along so well with my best friend Mecki).  Ken tried to teach me to ring a bell every time I wanted to go outside, but, while I enjoyed eating the peanut butter off the bell, I felt that such a parlor trick was below me and returned to simply barking hysterically at the door or acting up whenever I wanted out.  Anyway, it was from Ken's four legged boarders that I learned my most valuable lesson from.  They taught me how to properly stretch.

When my family picked me up from Ken's house a week later, they noticed that I had become a stretching fool!  I stretched when I came out of my crate.  I stretched when I got up from a nap.  I stretched because I was standing out in the sun.  I stretched because it was Tuesday.  I stretched whenever I got the chance and with each stretch I got better and better at it until I no longer fell over and didn't have to resort to stretching like a cat.

That is, at least until today.

When Sister came home from work to let me out at lunch time, I took advantage of the warm sun and prepared myself for a massive stretch.  While stretching my neck out as far as it would go, I began to walk forward with my front legs leaving my back legs stationary.  I kept walking further and further ahead enjoying the stretch when suddenly my back legs scooted out from under me and I collapsed flat on my belly.  I looked like a dog skin rug what with my back legs sticking straight back behind me.

I glanced around sheepishly hoping that no one saw what had happened.  The laughter emanating from Sister confirmed my greatest fears.

A Trip to the Park

On Tuesday, my family decided that I needed something to do.  You see, according to them, I've spent far too much time lately looking--and finding--trouble to get into.  I've especially been fond of shredding papers, most recently the instruction booklet for the family's new washing machine and a roll of paper towels.  Anyway, because I've been so troublesome, my family decided to take me for a walk at Belmont Lake State Park.  I like it there a lot; there are always lots of smells to sniff and geese to chase (though I'm not allowed in the water which is really disappointing).

As soon as we got to the park I made a break from the car to the path so fast that I gave my Sister leash burns on both of her hands.  Yeah, I know that I really shouldn't have bolted for the trees like I did, but I was really excited and wanted to start sniffing all the great outdoor smells as soon as I could.  Sister was a bit annoyed, but she admitted that it was all her fault and that she should have expected and been prepared for my excitement level.  Still, she warned me not to bolt like that ever again.

We started down the path.  After walking for a little while we came across a man and his dog.  The man asked if I was friendly and I scoffed to myself.  Of course I'm friendly!  Anyway, his dog (a ten year old yellow lab) came over to me and we started to jump and guffaw around.  It is always fun to play with big dogs.  Don't get me wrong, I like playing with little dogs like my best friend Mecki, but you can't really stand on your back legs and box with a dog that only comes up to your knees.  As we played, I suddenly became aware that I was at a definite disadvantage.   You see, the yellow lab could jump and run and zig and zag without restraint.  I, on the other hand, kept getting tangled up with my humans.  It was then I realized that the other dog was off leash!  Imagine the fun we could have had if we were both off leash.  I'm going to have to talk to my family about that.

After a little while, the yellow lab and his Pa and my family and I went our separate ways.  Then, about a mile down the path, I noticed a little dachshund coming my way.  "It's Mecki!" I thought and wagged my tail excitedly.  As we got closer, however, I realized that this dog, while long like my best friend, wasn't quite as furry.  I was really disappointed. 

It was later, however, that the walk turned bad.  We came around a bend where a medium size dog and his owner were standing.  I went over to bunk noses with him and do you know what he did?  The dog snarled and snapped at me!  Now I don't associate with dogs that are so rude that they growl and bite.  In fact, two years ago when I was playing in a dog park I actually walked away from a group of dogs that were play growling and found a nice pit bull who just wanted to run around and had no problem with me drooling all over his back.  Anyway, I was really scared especially when the man brought his dog back to me in hopes that we could become friends.  Luckily, Pa stepped between me and the other dog and helped Sister pull me to safety while telling the nasty man with his hell-hound to leave me alone.

Despite my encounter with the hound from hell, I had a lot of fun on my walk.  In fact, I was so tired from the trip that I slept the entire way home and felt no need to shred anything...at least for a few hours.