When you wake up in the morning, do you stretch? When you feel like all your limbs are in a knot, do you stretch your arms out in an attempt to loosen up? Did anyone have to teach you?
Well, when I was a little puppy I didn't know how to stretch. Whenever I tried to stretch my legs out behind me, I ended up falling over and was subsequently mocked by my family. As a result, I found a different way to stretch. I'd stand up straight and tall on my four legs and arch my back up in the center. It was great; I didn't fall over and I got a good stretch. Unfortunately, I was still mocked because apparently I was now stretching like a cat (at the time I didn't know what a cat was--now I'm truly insulted by the comparison). "Shouldn't dogs know how to stretch innately?" my family frequently asked aloud. I felt a bit depressed by my inability to stretch properly but, because I was too busy stealing things, ripping up things, and gnawing on people's hands, I didn't dwell on it too much.
It wasn't until I was a little over one year old that I learned how to properly stretch. You see, that summer my family was going to take a trip to Maine and decided that I should stay at the home of my good friend Ken the Dog Trainer (Ken was instrumental in turning me into a well behaved dog which was not an easy feat considering I had, in my family's words "a bad attitude" and far too many large gnashing teeth) and the other dogs he was boarding. Let me tell you, I had so much fun! I boxed and chest bunked a boxer and learned to play nice with little dogs (that's why I get along so well with my best friend Mecki). Ken tried to teach me to ring a bell every time I wanted to go outside, but, while I enjoyed eating the peanut butter off the bell, I felt that such a parlor trick was below me and returned to simply barking hysterically at the door or acting up whenever I wanted out. Anyway, it was from Ken's four legged boarders that I learned my most valuable lesson from. They taught me how to properly stretch.
When my family picked me up from Ken's house a week later, they noticed that I had become a stretching fool! I stretched when I came out of my crate. I stretched when I got up from a nap. I stretched because I was standing out in the sun. I stretched because it was Tuesday. I stretched whenever I got the chance and with each stretch I got better and better at it until I no longer fell over and didn't have to resort to stretching like a cat.
That is, at least until today.
When Sister came home from work to let me out at lunch time, I took advantage of the warm sun and prepared myself for a massive stretch. While stretching my neck out as far as it would go, I began to walk forward with my front legs leaving my back legs stationary. I kept walking further and further ahead enjoying the stretch when suddenly my back legs scooted out from under me and I collapsed flat on my belly. I looked like a dog skin rug what with my back legs sticking straight back behind me.
I glanced around sheepishly hoping that no one saw what had happened. The laughter emanating from Sister confirmed my greatest fears.
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