…it is always good to know who is level headed enough to get everyone to safety. In my house, that’s me (it’s part of my responsibilities as Head of Security). I’m not one to sit around and ponder whether or not a situation which has the potential to be dangerous or scary truly is. No, I act right away and do everything in my power to direct everyone to safety.
For instance, I was hanging out in the office with Pa when I decided to pass the time by perusing some of the remnants of Christmas. With great pleasure I sniffed Christmas sweaters and licked books (quite possibly one of my favorite pastimes of all time). Eventually, I made my way over to a stack of folded up shirt boxes sitting on the piano bench. Now the great thing about shirt boxes is that they can easily be turned into slobbery confetti (the ripping sound of cardboard is beyond satisfying). Carefully I approached the pile, nose working overtime to sniff out the perfect box to pilfer.
Timber!!!
Apparently, the structural stability of a stack of folded up shirt boxes is less than sound; an avalanche was imminent.
As the shirt boxes began shifting and sliding, I made a split-second decision that this was obviously a very dangerous situation and it was important that everyone abandon ship as quickly as possible. While the stack swayed, I quickly grabbed my plush Christmas gnome toy and hightailed it out of the room. Down the hall I scurried and into the kitchen passing Ma along the way. When the proverbial cartoon dust finally settled after my mad dash from the back room, Ma found me and my toy at the side door and I was shooting her a look over my shoulder as if to say “you’re the one with the thumb, open the door!”
So, if you ever find yourself in a dangerous situation, grab your most prized possession and follow me. And if you manage to keep up with me, you’ll be sure to make it safely to the nearest exit (and I’d appreciate it if you’ll work the doorknob for me).
