Around the Estate with Master Rigby: December 2018

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas 2018

Wishing all my friends, family, and fans a very Merry Christmas!

★Merry★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★Christmas★ 。* 。 ° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚ ˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛• l ｜田田｜門｜ ˚

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★Merry★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★Christmas★ 。* 。 ° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚ ˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •˛• l ｜田田｜門｜ ˚And a happy new year 2011

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Sunday, December 23, 2018

Santa's List

Some households have elves that sit on shelves and report back to the big man (Santa) about everyone's behavior. Well, I don’t have an elf watching me. No, my family doesn’t need one (not to mention, I probably would have accidentally carried him off thinking he was a squeaker toy). You see, my family has a direct line to Santa and they are more than happy to report back to him about where I should fall on his naughty and nice list.

Because there is so much at stake during the month of December, I’m usually very careful to remain on my best behavior. True, I’m generally an angel, but one can’t be too careful when Santa’s involved. This year was no different. I was pleasant, helpful, and didn’t bark nearly as much as I could have. I was a good boy...that is, until last night.

Maybe I went temporarily insane. Maybe I ate some bad kibble and it messed with my head. Maybe I was possessed by some evil spirit who decided to turn me into a monster. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is this: I was not myself.

Shortly after everyone went to bed last night, I climbed the stairs to Sister's room with the intention of curling up on my pillow and falling asleep. When I got there, I found her siting on the floor wrapping Christmas presents. Immediately, my eyes went wide, my tail started wagging, and in short order, I...

...stole some wrapping paper and shredded it.
...stole a pen and chewed on it.
...found and ran off with a sock.
...stole some more wrapping paper and shredded it.
...forced my snout into a closed box of unwrapped Christmas gifts (and tried to snatch the contents).
...perused a box of wrapped gifts, grabbed one, and unwrapped it (sorry B, it was your gift...it’s fine and Sister will re-wrap it).
...licked the rest of the wrapped gifts.
...licked the roll of wrapping paper.
...grabbed Sister's hair towel (which happened to still be on her head).
...tried to dig a hole through a bag of gift labels.
...snatched the scissor.
...stole even more wrapping paper and shredded it.

It was at this point that I heard Pa’s voice echoing from the first floor. “What’s going on up there?” he asked.

The fun was over. I mean, I knew Sister was going to give me hell later for all the trouble I was giving her (her response to Pa’s question was to scream, “your son’s being a pain in the ass”), but once Pa is involved...well, let's just say that if Santa’s the first person you don’t mess with, Pa is a close second.

Down the stairs I ran, hoping to head off Pa before Sister expanded on her statement. Not knowing exactly what was going on (but figuring I was up to no good), Pa hooked my leash to my collar and took me outside. After doing business, I settled down on my pillow and prayed that Sister would simply assume that the events of that evening were simply a series of bad dreams.

She didn’t and she told the story of my misbehavior the following morning.

So now I’m a little afraid that my rambunctiousness might have cost me my good standing with Santa. It's going to be an anxious couple of days. Hopefully I can redeem myself in time.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Imortalized in Art

The mom of my BFFs Mecki and Bastille is a talented artist. I've shown some of her work before, a homemade birthday card or two, but recently, she out did herself. For Christmas, she gave my Sister four beautiful works of art based on four of my most iconic, cute, silly, and pensive photos. I mean, check out the baby picture! She even managed to capture my abnormally long and glamorous eyelashes! Thanks Karin, you're the best!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

"Don't Look Foolish"

Aunt B just wanted to take a nice picture of me and my family.

Her instructions were clear: "Sit together and no one look foolish."

Was that too much to ask?

Apparently, for me, it was!

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Being Obnoxious

I have to get something off my chest. Stumpy the Squirrel is completely and totally out of control. You remember Stumpy, right? He's the annoying "squirrel" (I put this in quotes because I honestly don't know what Stumpy is...he looks like a squirrel except he is missing 90% of his tail and he hops around like a bunny) that my family has taken a shine to . Well, while I've always found him rather annoying, I've come to realize that he's also very nervy. Look what he did!

That's right, Stumpy has decided to use my windowsill as his own personal refrigerator for his half-eaten chunks of Italian bread! Now, there are many things wrong with this. First, there is the knowledge that Stumpy is setting paw, not only on my property, but on my house. Second, he's lurking right outside my window (he's a Peeping Tom now too!). Third, he's depositing his stash just out of my reach (hey, I like bread too!).

Stumpy Watching from Above

But I suppose, in some ways, and I hate to admit this, Stumpy and I are a lot alike. You see, we both excel in passive aggressive techniques. He leaves his table scraps just out of my reach and me, well...

It's no secret that I love to engage in a little thievery from time to time. But to set the record straight, it's never really my fault. I mean, did I tell you to leave your purse open? Did I suggest that you leave your closet door open (giving me access to your shoe collection)? Did I ask you to leave the dish towel within my reach? Did I recommend that you leave the folded laundry on the bed? Of course not! But once it's done, I have no choice but to react.

So off I run with the pick pocketed key chain, purloined dishtowel, swiped shoe, or pilfered piece of laundry. And it goes without saying that my humans are usually hot on my tail, determined to steal back my ill-gotten gains.

Of course, my dream is to keep the item, chew on it a little, rip off all its buttons, and tear all its seams. But I know what is expected of me; mainly that I'm supposed to give up my appropriated goods without a fight. However, just because I know what I should do, doesn't mean that I won't add my own little flair to the procedure.

And my way of adding a little flair to the situation is to be obnoxious about it. As soon as one of my humans corner me and reach for the ill-gotten gains in my mouth, I drop it, forcing him/her to pick the item up off the floor. And oh boy am I good at this trick. I can't tell you how many times I've done this and each time whoever is trying to claim my stolen goods complains bitterly about having to pick the item up off the floor when I could have just handed it to them when it was about two feet higher off the ground in my mouth.