The Scary Land of No

Every couple of hours, I, the devilishly handsome pup with flowing blonde hair, a winning personality, and a bright toothy smile (with dimples, don’t forget the dimples), does a loop around the house to make sure that everything is in its place and that food isn’t being consumed without me.

During one recent walk through, I happened to glance into the first floor Land of No and saw something truly great, sort after, and spectacular about ten feet into the room. But there was one problem. How was I going to reach what caught my eye?

Me and Pa in my Crate

As my loyal readers know, I’ve had a long and complicated relationship with the Land of No. When I was a wee pup, all the fun and easily destroyed things that my family wanted to keep away from my pearly white teeth were stored there; protected 24/7 by a big scary baby gate. Then, when I was a little older, the gate came down, the room was cleaned, and my crate brought inside essentially making the Land of No my own personal bedroom. One might have assumed that that would be a wonderful arrangement, however it didn’t go over well because there was some bad juju in that room which freaked me out (even Pa sitting in my create with me did not ward off the devils living in that room). My crate was soon removed and the room remained open to me, however, I never warmed back up to it again (especially after Mittens the hamster, who lived in the room, made a run at me in her hamster ball).

But as scary as the room was, I really wanted what I saw, so I took a deep breath and a cautious step over the threshold. I stretched my neck toward my heart’s desire, but I came up short. I took another cautious step forward, way deeper into the room than I was really comfortable with, and once again stretched. My chin went forward, my chest leaned in, and even my tail stretched outward though in the wrong direction (I never particularly liked that tail—it always seemed to have a mind of its own). Unfortunately, try as I might, I once again came up ridiculously short of my goal.

Thwarted, I backed out of the room to the safety of the hallway. Was I really going to have to pretend that I didn’t see what I saw?

However, seconds before turning away, I got an idea. If I wasn’t able to reach my goal myself, then I would get someone else to help me; I just needed to find a willing assistant.

First, I called out with a low growl and received no response. Next, I issued a single deep bark. Still nothing. Finally, I whipped out my not so secret weapon: a series of high-pitched yips. My high-pitched bark makes the hair on my family’s neck stand on end so there was no way that they would ignore me if I used it.

And just as I predicted, immediately following the first three high pitched yips, Ma came running to figure out what all the fuss was about. Noticing that I was shuffling uncomfortably at the threshold, Ma walked into the Land of No and told me to “check it out” (code for there’s nothing scary here). Cautiously, I followed her into the room and made a beeline for my prize: a pair of Sister’s shoes.

Shoe in mouth, I quickly turned and skidded my way out of the room like the Land of No ghost was hot on my tail. Ma shouted “hey!” as I reached the safety of the hallway and followed after me as I scurried toward the living room.

Ma eventually caught up to me and the shoe in the living room where she made me give it up. Needless to say, I was not happy with this turn of events. I had called on Ma to help me retrieve the shoe—not to take it away from me once I had liberated it.

Honestly, you just can’t get good help nowadays.

Happy Dog Day to Me

Today is a very special day.  Today is the three year anniversary of me coming to live with my two legged family.  In my family, we call it Dog Day.

Cute Little Me

I remember the day I was adopted well.  I had just turned eight weeks old and was tipping the scale at thirteen pounds.  That fateful Sunday morning, I was curled up with my brothers and sisters taking a late morning nap saving up my energy for lunch time (that was back when I got three meals a day--aah the good old days).  Suddenly, my dreams of puppy chow and chewing on my sibling's tails were rudely interrupted by Elaine, the nice lady who took care of my siblings and me since we were born, scooping me and one of my brothers up and bring us both upstairs into the kitchen.  We weren't awake yet, so when she placed us down on the linoleum floor we both slumped back down to continue our naps.  Well, the humans would have none of this and proceeded to try to get us to wake up.  My brother had no intention of humoring the humans and only groggily lifted his head up long enough to get his chin scratched.  I, however, eventually gave in and started to rough-house with Pa (we played the Spider Game--I chased Pa's hands as he made them scurry around the floor like a big five legged spider). After a little while, I determined that these three humans would be the perfect family for me and apparently my fun loving personality won them over as well.  Papers were signed, Elaine gave me a kiss on the snout, Ma, Pa, Sister, and I jumped in the car, and we started to my new home.

This wasn't my first car ride (Elaine had taken my siblings and me to the vet a couple of times for check-ups), but this was the longest ride I had taken thus far.  For most of the ride I slept in the backseat on Sister's lap, however, after about twenty minutes I started to feel a little car sick.  Without going into great detail, let's just say it was a good thing Sister had placed a towel over her lap.  Feeling better, I fell back asleep and didn't stir for the rest of the ride.

Already Crushing the Flowers

When we got home, I was once again rousted from my sleep.  My family took me into the backyard where my Aunt (and future babysitter) was waiting for my arrival.  I snuggled in her arms for a while then started to explore my new home while Ma and Pa went to the toy store (AKA pet store) to buy me food, bones, and toys (this was the first in a long line of events which made me realize that I was adopted by some pretty cool people).

My First Toy:  "Booda"

That night I slept in a my crate in Ma and Pa's room.  They were a little concerned that I would miss my siblings and cry all night, but I didn't make one peep (well, except for when I needed to go out).  Now don't tell my siblings this, but I kind of liked having the crate all to myself.  I could stretch out and no one tried to sleep on my head.

The next morning, I woke up bright and early to continue exploring my new environment.  The rest, as they say, is history.