Allow me to introduce you to the world’s best pair of shoes.
They belong to Ma and they are truly a wonder. Not only is there a nice metal button to chew on and attempt to gnaw off when the opportunity presents itself, but there is also a Velcro strap and there’s nothing in this world better than the sound of two pieces of Velcro being ripped apart (it sounds so much like the noise my toys make when I start ripping their seams apart).
And how did I discover this masterpiece of modern footwear?
Well, I was hanging underneath the table last week during dinner, minding my own business, while trying to decide what trouble I should get into first—find and rip up a toy or steal Ma’s napkin from her lap. Unable to make up my mind (so many great options), I decided to lay down for a bit which put me snout to toe with Ma’s foot. I gave the shoe she was wearing a good sniff (I’m always interested to see where people have been) and was just about to grab hold of a nearby toy when I happened to notice that there was a little leather tab sticking out from the side of the shoe. Nonchalantly, I reached over and began chewing on the tab with my front teeth, careful not to draw attention to myself lest I be yelled at. While contently chewing, I suddenly realized that there was a bit more give to this leather tab than was normal. Immediately, I knew what I had. Grasping the tab firmly in my teeth, I gave it a good tug and was rewarded with a loud rip as the two adjoining strips of Velcro pulled apart.
Ah, I thought,
music to my ears! I dropped the tab from my mouth, which allowed for the Velcro to reconnect, then grabbed hold of it again and gave it another tug. I was once again rewarded with a satisfying ripping sound.
I repeated this twice more before Ma realized what was going on, gave a shriek, then removed her shoe from my reach. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
