Happy Turkey Day 2019!

Happy Turkey Day 2019!

Catch and Release

"Goulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night."

It's a tough world out there.  There are hidden dangers everywhere one looks from slamming car doors to mailmen to stupid little half squirrel half bunny hybrids.  But one mustn't change one's ways and give in to the terrors that surround us; do that and the terrorists win.  No, instead one must go about one's business and take initiative whenever possible.  And that is exactly what I did not long ago.  I fought off one of those “things that go bump in the night.”  The terrorists won’t win on my watch!

Dead Asleep

So here’s what happened.  It was 9:45pm and Pa had just rousted me for my final business trip of the night.  I wasn’t thrilled about the idea--I would have much preferred to have continued my nap and woken him up somewhere around the 3 o’clock hour--but I knew that I would never hear the end of complaints if I did, so I begrudgingly got up and met him at the side door.  On went my leash, on went Pa’s jacket, on went the side light, and finally, Pa opened the side door.

As soon as the door opened, I could smell it.  There was something out there and that something was very close.  Within an instant, my nose and legs teamed up and I bolted out the door (leaving Pa stumbling behind me) and ran hard toward the front gate.  Growling, I made a bee-line for the corner of the gate, opened my mouth, and--CHOMP!--I bit down on something soft and fleshy.

Shocked (I've never caught anything before), I released my catch and watched as it turned, hit the ground, ran past a floundering Pa, and scurried off down the driveway toward the backyard.  With a guttural half-growl half-bark, I immediately took off after the intruder—running past Pa who was scrambling to get up.

I tracked the scent to the area around Pa's car, but try as I might (I circled, I backtracked, I stomped through Ma's garden), I wasn't able to find the creature.

Sister, meanwhile, having heard all the shouting, barking, and growling, came running out of the house in time to see me, with Pa hot on my tail, circling the car.  By right, she could have just turned around and gone back into the house, however, based on the sounds she had heard, she knew that this wasn't just a game so instead she went in, grabbed a flashlight, and came running back out to help.

By the time Sister joined the fray, Pa had managed to stumble over to me, grab my leash, and drag me back into the house.  With me safely inside, Pa and Sister started investigating and discovered, underneath the car, a large pointy-nosed, long-tailed, beady-eyed opossum blinking back at them.  Having identified the creature, Pa and Sister came back inside to check on me (I was fine) and alert Ma (who had missed everything) of the events.

The Skull I Dug Up

Now, loyal readers might recall an event just over three years ago where I dug up an opossum skull.  As horrifying as that was, let me tell you, this was much more horrifying.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, I was now running on pure adrenaline and the idea of sleep (it was now almost 10:30pm) was far from my mind.  For the next hour or so, I kept running to the door, barking to go out.  Ma and Pa knew what I wanted, they knew that I wanted to go check on my property, however, they were interested in going to sleep (and not interested in wrestling me away from the opossum) so I was kept inside.  Sulking, I eventually made my way upstairs to bother Sister.  I dug on the carpet, I howled, barked, and yodeled, and I slunk around looking for trouble.  Eventually, desperate to keep me quiet, Sister sat down on the floor with me and rubbed by ears until I fell asleep. 

I didn't sleep well that night.  I had dream after dream and ended up waking Sister up multiple times while yipping in my sleep.

The next morning, after waiting for Pa to check the perimeter first (I might be Head of Security, but I'm not stupid), I stormed out of the side door and ran straight to the car.  I sniffed high, I sniffed low.  I traipsed through more of Ma's plants and I searched the backyard.  The opossum was nowhere to be found.