Christmas 2014 Summary

Christmas 2014

I love Christmas!   Why wouldn't I?  It's the one day of the year that I get to spend every single waking hour eating, shredding wrapping paper, or playing with new toys.  And this year's Christmas celebration was one for the books; one of the best.  Why?  Because I made out like a bandit this year.  Here's some of the fun stuff I got:

• 2 squeaky tennis balls from Pa.
• A replacement Rudy the Reindeer from Sister (my former Rudy is missing three of his legs, both antlers, half his skull (including a nostril, an eye, and an ear), and his tail).
• A bag of cookies from Mecki, Bastille, and their mom.

  

  Rocky, Bullwinkle, and Me

• A set of Rocky and Bullwinkle plush toys from Pa's friend Jim and his dog Dixie.
• A floppy snowman toy from Tink, ZeeZee, and their mom
• The book "Ask Anna" from Ralphie and his mom (Sister and I read it before bedtime).
• A few packets of special flavoring for my food from Ma.
• A new bed from Pa (which I'm really not a big fan of--when will people finally accept the fact that my rightful place is on the couch?).

And the only fatalities (at least as of right now) from my list of Christmas gifts are a handful of cookies (which are obviously in my belly), one packet of special flavoring (again, in my belly), and the floppy snowman which I happily filleted the very first night I had him.

But the fun didn't end with presents.  I found numerous ways of entertaining myself throughout Christmas Day (a necessity brought about by the fact that my family forbid me to shred any of my other toys so soon after receiving them).  So instead, I...

• helped unwrap presents (I believe my teeth may have accidentally gotten a bit too close for comfort to some people's fingers.  To that I say:  I'm sorry).
• shredded discarded wrapping paper (I was helping--the more finely shredded the wrapping paper is the more of it can be cram into a single garbage bag.  To that I say:  you're welcome).
• carried off presents that didn't belong to me (which lead to numerous joyful romps throughout the house as my family chased after me to retrieve their packages).
• managed to get close enough to the snack food table to lick a few shrimp (which ended up backfiring on me because, rather than give me the "tainted" goods, Pa ate the shrimp I slobbered on.  To that I say:  not cool, man, not cool).

My Face Says It All

There was, however, one low point this Christmas.  Sister received a goat.  Sure, it wasn't a real goat, but I think it still warrants a certain level of concern on my part.  What if this is a "gateway goat"?  What if Ma and Pa are merely testing Sister to see if she cares for this one before getting her a real one?  If that's the case, there is a horrifying possibility of waking up on the morning of Sister's birthday and coming face to face with a real-live-head-butting-sideways-prancing goat.  The horror!

Clean Up

It is my overall goal in life to be comfortable.  I want my tummy to be comfortable so I am always in search of a snack I can steal, beg for, or (and this is a last resort) earn.  I want my body to be comfy so I seek out the softest place in the house to sleep (and yes, that means sleeping on the furniture).  And finally, I want to be emotionally comfy which is achieved by having all of my favorite things around me wherever I go.

That is why I have toys in pretty much every room of the house.  For instance, last evening Monkey-Monk was lounging in Sister's room, Nuclear Bunny was in the kitchen, Baby and Lenny the dinosaur were hanging out in the dining room, my toy box (filled with bones and stolen tennis balls from the park) as well as my latest Mini Mecki were in the living room, and Ma and Pa's room was playing host to Lyle-Lyle, Rudy, my red dinosaur (he has no name--no one thought he would survive long enough to require one), and the hippopotamus that my friend Ralphie and his mom gave me.

Unfortunately, my family has other definitions regarding feeling comfortable and, apparently, they include a certain level of neatness, organization, and clear walking paths.

It was just before bedtime and I was doing my best impression of "Puddle Dog" or "look-at-me-I'm-melting-from-the-summer-heat-oh-please-oh-please-won't-someone-turn-on-the-air-conditioner" on the living room floor.  Now, for those unaware (mainly those lucky people and dogs who live in central air), to accomplish this impression properly, one mustn't leave one's prone state unless absolutely necessary (after all, it doesn't make sense that one can be dying of heat yet completely capable of jumping up at will and scurrying away for trivial reasons), so one must choose one's location carefully.  Over the years, I've discovered the perfect spot; a spot in the living room which allows me to keep an eye on everyone in the room as well as anyone who heads toward the bedroom with the intention of turning on the air conditioning (air conditioning is always worth getting up for).

Anyway, on this particular night, Ma got up from her spot on the couch and headed into the bedroom.  Unwilling to give up on my impression of a "Puddle Dog" prematurely (I've been tricked before and now know that I cannot assume that just because someone goes into the bedroom it means that the air conditioner will be turned on), I watched for the tell tale sign of air conditioner use (the closing of the windows, the deliberate walk to the air conditioner, and the closing of the door).  Sadly, Ma showed no indication of turning on the blessed relief that is the air conditioner.

But something was happening because a minute or so after Ma went into the bedroom, she emerged carrying Lyle-Lyle, Rudy, the red dinosaur, and the hippopotamus all the while complaining that there was no room to walk because my toys were all over the floor.  She then unceremoniously dumped all four toys into my toy box.  Adding insult to injury, she then circled through all the other rooms on the first floor and systematically picked up all my toys and deposited them all into the toy box as well.

Well, I was shocked, appalled, and dismayed by this predicament.  I was so shocked, appalled, and dismayed that I gave up on my "Puddle Dog" impression, scurried over to my toy box, grabbed my hippopotamus, and hot footed it into the bedroom.  Once in the bedroom, I tossed my toy back onto the floor and walked away.

Ma was not amused by my antics.  Sister, on the other hand, laughed and told me that I was a good boy.  Pa, however, won my favor by calling me back into the room and turning on the air conditioner.  Thanks Pa!

A Sister Free Weekend

This was a very strange weekend.  It all started Friday evening when Ma and Pa came home from work.  You see, Friday nights usually consist of my humans ordering a pizza (which I am rudely never given a piece of), watching Jeopardy, and playing tug with me and one of my toys until I rip the toy and start eating the pieces.  Not this Friday though.  Immediately after dinner the overnight bags came out, the car was loaded, and my travel t-shirt was pulled up and over my head.  This flurry of activity could only mean one thing; we were going out east that evening rather than Saturday morning. 

Now, it goes without saying that I was super excited about going out east (and considering that I was already excited because it was snowing outside, you can image just how revved I really was).  In fact, I was so excited that I jumped right into the back of the car and didn't even realize that someone was missing until a few minutes later when I did a quick roll call in my mind.  First, I looked to the driver's seat and noticed that Pa was there backing the car out of the driveway.  Then I looked to the front passenger seat and noticed, with horror, that it was empty.  "Oh no!" I thought, "we forgot Ma!"  Just when I was about to start whining with concern, I looked to my left and saw that Ma was sitting next to me in Sister's spot.  We had forgotten Sister!

Now, in hindsight, I shouldn't have been surprised that Sister was not coming with us.  In fact, thinking back, I do vaguely remember Sister trying to get me to sit still long enough to give me a goodbye hug and kiss when all I really wanted to do was race through the house displaying my excitement for the impending trip.  I probably should have just sat down and given her my paw or something.  Hopefully she wasn't too offended.

Anyway, it took us a long time to drive out to the other house because of the snow.  I passed the time sleeping on Ma's lap. 

I had a lot of fun out east.  I sniffed around in the snow, barked at two separate sets of delivery men, and ran around like a crazy dog in the dog park.  Best of all, I had Ma and Pa's undivided attention the entire time since, without Sister around, I was essentially an only child!  Now, don't get me wrong, I love Sister.  After all, she comes home at lunch time to play with me, she lets me sleep on her bed, and she is a bit of a messy eater.  But I must admit, she's a bit of an attention hog and it is nice to finally get all the attention that I so rightfully deserve.

On Sunday Ma and Pa told me that it was time to go home and check on Sister.  Ma and Pa stuffed me into my t-shirt and we all climbed back into the car.  Thoroughly exhausted, I collapsed on Ma's lap and dreamt of my weekend as an only child.

Sister was really happy to see me when I got home and gave me lots of pets.  She told me that she missed me a lot and that the house was really quiet without me around (by the way, I consider that comment to be an open invitation to bark as loudly and as frantically as I want whenever I want).  She also told me that while I was gone she got to play with Mecki at work and Aunt B came over on Saturday night.  I was a bit disappointed that I missed all the fun back at home, but I suppose Sister has the right to enjoy herself too. 

Then Sister told me that she had an extra special surprise for me in the living room.  I rushed in and saw...

Old Friends Waiting for my Return

 ...all my broken and ripped up toys all freshly sewed.  There was Baby, and Lyle, and Green Froggie (now missing two arms), and Purple Froggie (now missing two hands), and Zebra (now missing a nostril), and Rudy, and Giant Fish (now missing a back fin), and Allie the Alligator (now missing some teeth), and Goose, and Hedgehog, and Albino Hedgehog, and Mini Mecki (now missing the top of his skull), and Floppy Bunny, and Floppy Moose, and Denny I and II, and Gingerbread Man (now missing a hand). 

Welcome Back!

It was like a dream come true; all my missing toys returned to me!  I ran into the living room and went from toy to toy not knowing which one to play with first. 

Don't I have the best Sister in the whole wide world?

(Just don't tell her that I've already ripped a hole in Floppy Bunny.)

My Favorite Things

Before I begin, I just want to let everyone know that I am feeling much better after my tragic day last Monday.  To sum up the remainder of the experience, I moped around the house all Monday and straight through Tuesday afternoon.  By Tuesday evening, Ma, Pa, and Sister took pity on me (actually, I think it was more out of necessity--I was refusing to go outside) and took the bandage off my leg (after which I quickly ran to the side door to go out).  Wednesday found me playing in the backyard and on Thursday morning Pa took me to the vet where I received a clean bill of health.  Now I just need to wait for my nail to grow back in.  In the meantime, I'd like to give a shout out to my friends Mecki, who wished me well on his blog, and Rita, who gave me a get well peanut butter flavored Frosty Paws ice cream treat and a peanut butter cookie.  What great friends!

My latest victim

Now, due to my injury, I haven't really gotten a great opportunity to partake in any noteworthy adventures.  Basically, I've just been hanging around the house playing with my toys.  It was while ripping the arm off my frog (see the picture to the right) that it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't introduced by loyal readers to my favorite toys.  After all, what better way to get to know a dog than through his toys?

Baby

Baby:  Baby is one of only two toys that have survived since I was a little puppy.  When I got Baby, she had a squeaker box that barked three times every time I bit it, but I took care of that fairly early on (the plastic box remains and provides a satisfying crunch each time I bite down on it).  Baby also used to have two ears (I ripped them off) and a tongue (see the aforementioned fate).  In both instances, Sister sewed up the holes (the damage from tearing out Baby's tongue resulted in Baby losing part of her nose in surgery).  With Baby now personalized to my specifications, I stopped ripping her apart.  Baby is a great meet and greet toy--she's big enough that people notice that I'm carrying her while I circle them with my tail wagging yet not large enough for them to try to take her from me (you see with your eyes, people, not with your hands!)

Nuclear Bunny

Nuclear Bunny:  Nuclear Bunny, who started out simply as Bunny, is the second toy that has survived since my puppy days.  I got Bunny from my Sister for my very first Easter (a consolation prize for not catching the actual Easter Bunny).  That day, I ripped Bunny's ears off and a couple of days later, after Bunny dried off (apparently it is hard to patch holes when a toy is sopping wet with drool), Sister sewed him up and gave him back to me.  Next I ripped open his chest and neck and pulled out his squeaker and some of his stuffing.  Sister took him back again, let him dry, reinserted the stuffing (but not the squeaker), sewed up the seams, and gave him back to me.  Then I started ripping out Bunny's eye.  For a third time, Sister put Bunny back together.  By this time, Bunny didn't look much like a bunny any longer and was rechristened Nuclear Bunny.  Having been given a new name, I immediately stopped mutilating him and he, like Baby, became a meet and greet toy.

Lyle & Monk

Lyle Lyle the Crocodile and Monkey Monk (AKA Lyle and Monk):  Lyle and Monk are my two "big boy" toys because they are nearly my size.  Both have had their Doll Hospital stays (Lyle has had three limbs amputated and Monk has lost one leg, both ears, and a nostril) but by and large they have remained almost entirely intact.  Although I sometimes use them for meet and greets, their large size makes maneuvering around visiting people difficult so generally I reserve them for playtime.  Sister says that Lyle is looking pretty grungy and needs to be replaced (I think he looks and smells pretty good), but since she has been unable to find a suitable replacement, Lyle remains.

Bill

Bill:  I got Bill for Christmas from my friend Jim who works with Pa.  Bill holds the rare distinction of being the only toy I own that has never needed sewing.  He also has a really cool squeaker that screams "OHH NOOOOO!" when I bite on it. Sometimes, just for fun, I squeak Bill while my humans are talking and let me tell you, they laugh and laugh when I do this.  Apparently I'm quite good at picking the most opportune moment to squeak Bill--his cry is almost always totally appropriate for the conversation.

Rudy takes a bow

Rudy:  A Christmas gift from Sister, Rudy the Reindeer has had a tough life.  For the longest time, Sister didn't have the heart to amputate Rudy's limbs as I tore each of them apart so she stitched even the smallest pieces of fabric back together as best she could.  Eventually, Sister had to admit that her sewing skills were no match for my gnashing teeth and amputated, throughout the years, Rudy's back legs and part of his neck.

Why are they all looking at me?

The Perpetual Doll Hospital Group:  Some toys are poorly made and break almost as soon as I get them (my family, mistakenly, feels that I am too rough with my toys, but I know better).  These toys spend most of their lives in the Doll Hospital awaiting surgery for an assortment of poorly assembled seams, ripped limbs, and "accidental" guttings.  Some have official names; most do not.

Rigby 2 : Gumby 0

Gumby:  The first one lasted me three days.  The second one only lasted a few minutes.  Now I'm no longer allowed to have Gumbys, but Pa seems to enjoy using them as office decorations.  They are quite the conversation starter.