A Burger for Doing Nothing

My "I'm Annoyed" Look

There are days that I'm convinced that my family just doesn't appreciate me.  They overlook all of my accomplishments and skills and spend their time oohing and ahhing over some strange dog doing sub-par work (and who, obviously, is not nearly as handsome as yours truly).  The latest example of this phenomenon occurred last Sunday.

Pa, Ma, and Sister were eating lunch at the local diner (I was sadly not invited because the Department of Health has declared that non-service dogs are not permitted in establishments that serve food).  Across the street, in the bed of a parked pick-up truck, was an unleashed German Shepherd waiting for his family (also in the diner) to finish eating.  Everyone in the diner noticed this dog and expressed countless compliments about how he was waiting patiently for his family, how nice he was sitting, how cute he looked with his chin resting on the side panel of the truck, and how he wasn't "jumping out of no car" (no need to specify whose family said that last one).  But it wasn't just compliments.  A number of people (including my Sister) suggested that the German Shepherd's family should buy him a burger as a reward for being such a good boy.

For what?!  For sitting perfectly still in the back of a truck?!  Any dog can do that!  Heck, even a cat could do that!  But all the humans were impressed by the dog that sat stock still for thirty minutes!  And then they suggested that he receive a burger for his "hard work"?!  Ugh!

And what about me?  I actually do a ton of stuff but do I get offered a burger?  Do I get a burger for alerting the world of someone walking by my house or closing a car door?  Do I get a burger for retrieving the dish towel even though no one needs it at the moment?  Do I get a burger for politely wiping my chin on the couch after eating?  Do I get a burger for so expertly training my family to see to my every need?  Do I get a burger for doing a perfect tuck and roll out of a partially open car window at 30 miles per hour?  Do I get a burger for helping to sort the laundry, for shredding wrapping paper, digging holes, gutting toys, and chasing squirrels out of my yard?

No, I do not.

But a German Shepherd sits still for thirty minutes and he becomes the envy of the entire world!

It just isn't fair.