Stumpy

Benedict Arnold, Peter Pettigrew, Marcus Brutus, Guy Fawkes, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, Judas Iscariot, Michael Dawson; some of literature, television, and history's greatest traitors.  And, as much as it pains me, I can now add my own family to that list.  Why?  Because they've taken a shine to a...ugh, it pains me to even write the words.  Because they've become attached to a certain squirrel that hangs around the property.

Allow me to introduce Stumpy, the annoying little squirrel who has a short stumpy tail (hence his name).

Stumpy the Squirrel--note the tail

My family loves Stumpy.  They laugh when they see him moseying around the neighborhood, they share stories of seeing him lying on his belly in his tree or on the front step, and they look for him each morning when they go out to their cars.

Now, as for me, I don't like Stumpy.  I don't like him for two specific reasons (well, three if you count the fact that he is, in fact, a squirrel).

Number One:  I'm not allowed to chase him.

I'm a dog and Stumpy is a squirrel.  I'm supposed to chase him off my property and he's supposed to run like hell when he sees me.  It's in our DNA.  It's how the world works.  But, because Sister is concerned that Stumpy's near lack of tail might affect his balance, she doesn't want me chasing him up trees or down fences just in case he falls off and he and I get a little too close for everyone's comfort.

Which is exactly what almost happened a couple of days ago.  You see, I pushed my way outside before Sister could secure the backyard and I ended up chasing Stumpy down the entire length of the fence (yes, Sister was screaming hysterically the whole time which I found quite annoying).  While running on the chain linked fence, Stumpy managed to hold his own.  But when he had to jump from picket to picket on the front fence, that's where his balance proved less than stellar and he nearly fell off a couple of times.

Number Two:  He hops.

Stumpy doesn't really move around like a normal squirrel.  Instead, he kind of hops.  In fact, because of his hopping gait and short stubby tail, he strongly resembles a stupid little bunny (aka my arch nemesis).  Over the last couple of weeks, I've found myself questioning many a time over if Stumpy was actually a stupid little bunny dressed up as a squirrel; a bunny in squirrel clothing so to speak.  I don't think he is, but the thought still crosses my mind occasionally.
 Anyway, as for the bunny emulating...my family finds it endearing and incredibly cute.  I find it disturbing.