Pay No Attention to the Turkeys in the Backyard

When faced with a security breach, one must take certain steps to ensure the safety of all those within the breach’s proximity. 

Assess the Situation—one wouldn’t want to overreact and sound a false alarm. 

A couple of weekends ago, my family was all aflutter about something that was happening outside the widow.  Because no one was frantically upset, the event was clearly happening outside the house, and my family and I were securely inside the house, I decided that the situation was under control and that my mid-morning nap could continue as scheduled. 

Be Suspicious of Silence—don’t let a threat catch you flatfooted. 

A little while later, Aunt B and I were left alone in the house.  B received a phone call and disappeared toward the back of the building.  When she didn’t return in a timely manner, I decided that it was time to investigate.  Getting up, I paddled into the dining room. 

Check the Perimeter—look for threats. 

The key is to scan the area from left to right.  Saddling up alongside Aunt B, I looked out the window toward the far left of the yard and immediately saw the next-door neighbor walking from her house toward the in ground pool wearing an orange swimming cap. 

Sound the Alarm—the louder the better. 

Realizing this woman was obviously a major threat to security, I let out a hysterical string of warning barks. 

Commit to your Reaction—never second guess yourself. 

The woman in the orange swimming cap was absolutely one hundred percent the greatest threat to my property.  No questions asked.  Therefore, I purposely paid absolutely no attention to the family of turkeys who had traversed from the front yard to the back and were busy grazing brazenly in the middle of my yard.  I swear I knew they were there the whole time.