Four Days

Four.  That's the number of days I went between baths last week.  Personally, I think it's an all time record!

My first bath occurred a week ago today after I got home from being out east.  The timing of the bath was not lost on me.  You see, after spending an action packed weekend patrolling the yard's perimeters, chasing squirrels, tracking deer, and supervising the workers who were building a pool in the next door neighbor's yard, I was totally and completely exhausted.  And that's why my family hosed me down and lathered me up when we got home.  They knew that I would be too tired to fight them (I don't appreciate smelling like shampoo...I want to smell of the great outdoors).  So I snoozed through my ear cleaning and calmly stood in the driveway when I was doused with water (yeah, that's right, I wasn't even afforded the privacy of a trip to the spa).  Sure, I howled and carried on once I got back into the house, but, believe me, my heart just wasn't in it.

So from Sunday afternoon until Wednesday evening, I smelled, as Ma likes to point out, like a rose.  I hated it.  In fact, I spent a large portion of those seventy-two hours dreading the possibility of a chance encounter with a neighborhood dog.  How would I ever live down my less than masculine aroma?  I'd be the laughingstock of the neighborhood park.

But then, on Wednesday evening, I ran into a bit of a stinky situation.  Without going into too much graphic detail, I had a little trouble with my back end and, well, it kind of got stuck in my fur.  Ma did a very good job cleaning me up, but being less than helpful in such emergencies, I kind of rushed off before Ma could complete her inspection.

By Thursday afternoon I smelled, according to Sister, fairly ripe.  I wagged my tail in thanks, but I got the distinct feeling that Sister did not mean for the statement to be taken as a compliment.  Anyway, all while making and eating dinner, Sister complained of my aroma.  She even complained while she and Ma ate their frozen yogurt desserts (on a side note, Sister offered Ma a taste of her Nutella yogurt and I jumped up so quickly and lunged for the cup with such dexterity that I very nearly snatched it from her).  Then, when they were done eating their desserts, Ma said the unthinkable.  She suggested that she and Sister take me outside for another bath (the conversation that preceded this decision was Sister's concern of being stuck in the back seat of the car with me when we drove out east the next evening).

So, once again I was unceremoniously ushered back into the driveway.

Now, one might think that since it was mid week and I was fully recovered from the previous weekend's excursions that I would have been able to put up a fight against Ma, Sister, and their icky smelling shampoo.  Well, I wasn't.  You see, while I was not tuckered out, I was completely caught off guard and that seriously affected my ability to make their lives difficult.  I never would have guessed that Ma and Sister would have dragged me outside for a bath so late in the day.  Once dessert is over in my house, there are no last minute chores and definitely no last minute dog washing sessions.

So, I once again smell like a rose.  And you know what?  I hate it!