In case you didn't notice, I'm very food oriented. I love food. Peanut butter, bananas, apples, steak, tomatoes, cheese--you name it, I love it. But my preference for food doesn't stop with so called "people food." No, I love dog food too. I've spoken before about my new dog food (which is still delicious and succeeding in keeping my belly free from parasites), but I am also a big fan of liver treats and Milkbones.
Milkbones are the go to treat in my house and the tool I used to train my humans. You see, in order for someone to leave the house, that person has to provide me with a sort of...oh, let's just call it what it is...bribe. That's where the Milkbone cookies come in. This bribe, tossed on my pillow, is payment for me not racing the individual to the door. Pa is by far the most generous when it comes to bribes. He gives me a large Milkbone cookie when he leaves for work each day. Sister is the stingiest; she only gives me a tiny dog size treat.
But as simple and as straight forward as this system is (you want to go out, you give me a cookie), there are times when the system falls apart. Two such occurrences happened this week.
The first occurred when I became aware that a piece of one of my past bribery cookies had rolled underneath the dresser next to my pillow. Now, loyal readers might remember that this had happened to me once before and as a result of this past traumatic event, I knew exactly what to do. First, I sized up the situation and determined that there was no way for me to access the cookie on my own. So, I immediately moved on to Plan B: Bark hysterically until help arrives.
Ma happened to be across the hall when I started barking and immediately came over to check on what her "Barky Boy" was up to. I was obviously bothered by something under the dresser. Always a good sport, Ma got down onto the floor, extended her arm under the dresser, and started to feel around. I, meanwhile, was right by her side--wagging my tail and leaning against her to ensure that the side of her freshly pressed black pants would be covered in white fur. A second later, Ma pulled back her arm and showed me what she had found: a small pencil eraser size piece of cookie.
I quickly gobbled it up.
Then, a few hours later, I had another issue with my bribery cookie.
It was Sister's turn to offer me a bribe for leaving the house. Like a good dog, I scurried into the bedroom when she told me to "go to bed," but instead of calmly eating my cookie and settling down for a nap, I decided that I was going to be greedy. Swallowing the cookie whole, I quickly exited the room, scuttled down the hall, passed through the kitchen, and pushed by Sister as she reached for the doorknob. Sister had two options: pay me off with another cookie or let me outside even though she and I both knew that didn't actually need to go out. Sister chose the former.
Juggling her keys, pocketbook, and work bag, Sister pushed past me and grabbed another cookie from my cookie jar. From the middle of the kitchen, Sister pitched the treat across the floor and into the dining room. With my eye on the prize, I scurried after the cookie while Sister hastily ran out the door. But I didn't get the cookie. You see, it had skidded to a halt just before Ma's canvas work bag.
Now, some might say, as long as the cookie wasn't under the bag, I should have been able to scurry in and grab it. Those people would be wrong. That bag was very scary and it could have easily moved or attacked me when I reached for the cookie. No, as far as I was concerned, the cookie was out of reach.
But what do I do? I was all alone in the house and no one would be coming home until lunch time which was hours and hours and hours away! There was only one solution: I started to bark.
Apparently, my barking was so loud and so persistent that Sister was able to hear it from her car. Figuring that the neighbors would get involved if she didn't, Sister returned to the house to check on what was bothering me. As soon as she walked in the door Sister could tell what was wrong. With a sigh, Sister walked to my side, scooped up the cookie, gave me a pat on the head, then tossed the cookie into the living room. As I went after my cookie, Sister left the house.
Crisis averted.
No comments:
Post a Comment