I’m not allowed on the furniture. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’m allowed to sleep on my sister’s bed provided I am supervised (you lose your mind a few times—shred a few papers, rip a few blankets and BAM! suddenly you’re no longer trustworthy) but that doesn’t really count. Anyway, I’m always told that animals belong on the floor, but it just doesn’t seem fair. I mean, statistically, I’m getting the short end of the stick. The humans have the couch, the dining room chairs, the bed, the lawn chairs, the piano bench and a ton of other comfy places to relax not to mention an unlimited supply of pillows for lumbar support and blankets to keep them roasty-toasty. Me? I’ve got the floor. Yeah, I have three “dog” pillows stashed throughout the house (two tuffets and a big square hand-me-down orthopedic pillow) but let’s be honest here, next to a recliner or queen size mattress, the floor is no comparison. And what’s worse, my humans are so hypocritical. If I’m not allowed on their furniture, why are they allowed to sit on my floor? It just goes to show what a good-natured dog I am; my people can lie on the floor any time they want and I will happily snuggle up next to them and take a nap. Come on people, a little reciprocation please!
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| Oops...Overslept. Busted! |
I’ve discovered in my nearly three years of existence that there are loop-holes to every rule. You just need to be cunning and engage in some philosophical thinking. Dogs aren’t allowed on the furniture? Not a problem! My response is: If a dog sleeps on the bed, and there’s no one home to witness it, is he truly sleeping on the bed? My answer: Nope! All I have to do is wait for my humans to leave the house, jump the pillow barricade that they line the edge of the bed with in hopes of discouraging me from jumping, settle in, and take a nap (oh, and droll on their pillows if I get the chance!). So there you go…I get a nice comfortable nap and all I have to do is make sure I wake up and get off the bed before they come home.
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