Fun At The Dog's Expense

My family is at it again; they have discovered two additional ways to make me look foolish and they are taking full advantage of it.  Boy, are they lucky that I’m such a good natured and well behaved dog, for no other dog of lesser integrity would tolerate it.

How My Family Makes Me Look Like A Fool, Part I:  Large Jowls and Tiny Candies

It is no secret that I have very large, and often drooly, jowls.  The sad fact of the matter is, I have spent a fair portion of my life listening to my family joke about the fact that I need a lip-tuck to reign in my lips and having them run after me with paper towels to wring my jowls out after getting a drink of water.  Hurtful, right?  Anyway, a couple of days ago, Ma dropped a mini M&M on the floor.  Needless to say, I pounced on it.  Yeah, I know chocolate isn't good for dogs, but it was such a tiny piece of chocolate I didn't think it would hurt.  Well, I was wrong.  It did hurt, but not my tummy.  No, it hurt my pride.  You see, I had a devil of a time trying to swallow that little piece of candy because it kept getting lost in my jowls and falling back out onto the floor.  I must have struggled for a good five minutes before I finally managed to swallow it.  Ma, Pa, and Sister laughed at me the entire time.

How My Family Makes Me Look Like A Fool, Part II:  Ticklish Spots

I have a ticklish spot.  I know, that's not all that strange; many dogs have ticklish spots especially on their bellies.  How many times, after all, have you rubbed a dog's belly only to have his leg start moving as though he's scratching an itch?  (By the way, don't stop scratching his belly just because he's got a ticklish spot...just pick a different spot and continue on).  My ticklish spot, however, is not located on my belly.  No, my ticklish spot is located on the right side of my snout.  Whenever someone rubs my snout, my lip curls, I show my teeth, and, most embarrassing of all, I start sneezing.  Now, some of my loyal readers might have gasped just now.  Rigby, the debonair Golden Retriever with the statuesque stance of a model and a jovial and fun loving spirit, showed his teeth?  Yes, I show my teeth, but not in a mean or menacing sort of way.  Yeah, I'm annoyed at the way my family laughs at me while I'm sneezing and snarling (even Pa laughs and he and I are supposed to be buds) and yeah, I really wish Sister wouldn't take videos of me snarling (I refused to give in to her entirely and managed to yawn rather than sneeze when she recorded me), but I would never snarl at them threateningly.  I'm simply not that kind of dog.

So there you go, two addition examples of how my family is actively seeking out ways of making me look foolish.  It's okay though.  I've been extracting my revenge the last couple of days by barking hysterically at even the smallest of sounds.  Thus far, I've barked at car doors closing, the oil burner starting up, and Sister putting a book down on the table.  I think my family will agree:  Once I put my mind to something, I give it my all.