Christmas Roundup 2020

O Christmas Tree

It cannot be said that this Christmas was like all the others that came before. It was very different, fewer visitors and fewer carefree days leading up to it (hey, I’m a working dog now). But, in the end, it was the Christmas that we needed and boy did we take advantage of it.  

Christmas morning started with a reminder that it was not a work day. You see, I take my Administrative Assistant job very seriously and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I lost track of the days and ended up shooting Sister a very dirty look when she didn’t report to work at 8:30am as usual. However, after being shown the pile of presents left under the tree, I quickly changed my tune, left work behind, and proceeded to stick my snout into each and every bag and lick all the packages. 

Now, it’s a well-known fact that I get very excited when it comes to opening presents. I mean, it’s really an activity that is totally up my ally—you get to rip up paper into teeny tiny little pieces (and if you happen to accidentally swallow any of it, all the better)! It’s basically encouraged wrapping paper carnage! Of course, what isn’t encouraged is opening up presents that don’t belong to you. 

Not My Present-2012

Yeah, I have a history. 

Anyway, in years past, my family has tried everything to occupy me during the opening of presents so that the rightful owner of the present can actually open it themselves. Sometimes, they put me on the leash (I show my displeasure by chewing on the chain which drives Sister crazy). Other times, they’ve given me a PB&K. Occupying me with new toys is always a welcome tactic and my family has even tried to carefully unwrap their gifts so that there is little to no crinkling to pique my interest. Nothing really works that well, but this year, my family decided to try a combination approach. 

Me and My Dino

First, I got my presents: a plush dinosaur from Sister, a plush Tasmanian Devil and Marvin the Martian from Jim and Dixie (I gnawed off the Tasmanian Devil’s ear), and a new bagel squeaky toy from Ma and Pa (I killed the squeaker). 

Little did I or my family know that four new toys in quick succession is my breaking point; it’s when I reach overload. And boy did I ever. Suddenly, I jumped up and stood in the middle of the room with my head up in the air barking at the crown molding on the ceiling. Nothing my family could say or do could bring me out of it. I just kept barking and barking and barking like a dog possessed. All of a sudden, however, I felt a grumbling in my belly and a giant burp escaped my lips. 

Feeling better, I stopped barking. 

It was at this point that Ma suggested that maybe a PB&K would make me feel better. I scurried after her into the kitchen, collected my PB&K, and settled down while my family finished unwrapping their gifts. 

Me and My Tasmanian Devil

Once the PB&K was done, I curled up for a long nap waking up only long enough to change positions (from the couch to my pillow to the cool kitchen floor and back to the couch again), beg for any treat my family ate, and check the backyard perimeter for pumpkin left behind by the squirrels. 

Note: The neighbors in the yard behind me have been feeding the squirrels pumpkin for the last three weeks. Every time they drop a piece or leave it hidden behind the tree, I scoff it up. I think, at this point, I’ve consumed about five pounds of pumpkin (and given how fat the squirrels have gotten over the last three weeks, I’m hoping to be able to catch one come January). 

In other words, it was a very successful Christmas. 

All is Calm

On a personal note...

I just want to take a moment to let my fans know that I’m going to be going in for a bit of surgery on Monday morning. I have a growth on my left bottom eyelid which needs to be removed, a tag on my chin, and a hematoma right ear. I imagine I’m going to be a bit of a shaved mess when I get out, but it will be nice not to have my eye and ear bother me any longer. 

Wish me luck!