They're Baaaaack!

They're baaaaack! 



Two Brazen Lizards

Those tiny annoying lizards have returned in full force and are beginning to take up residence in the brick lined areas of my--MY!--house and garden.  You may recall my last run-in with wild lizards last year when, after cornering one in the garage, the lizard (now forever known as "Stumpy") jettisoned its tail and scooted away while I stared in disbelief, alarm, and disgust at the flopping appendage until Pa managed to catch it and throw it away.  But the situation didn't end there.  No, I had to deal with the humiliation of knowing that Stumpy spent the remainder of the summer sun bathing alongside the garage (where I'm not allowed to go) regenerating his tail.

Dutifully Searching

Well, yesterday marked my first run-in of the year with those tiny tresspassers. There I was, minding my business, traipsing through the garden listening to Sister beg and plead with me not to step (or eat) the pretty flower she was trying to take a picture of (don't worry, I didn't...yet), when all of a sudden the ground I was sniffing moved.  Startled (hey, you would be too if the ground suddenly moved), I jumped back but then lunged forward when I realized that the moving ground was in fact a lizard.  I followed that lizard into Ma's lavender bush, but then lost sight of it.  Undeterred, I kept searching; nosing and sneezing my way through the smelly plant (it smelled suspiciously like the shampoo Ma and Pa use on me).  After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching, Sister informed me that I had done a very good job and that the lizard had vacated the premises (how did she know?).  She then said that I should come inside for a congratulatory cookie.  I sneezed once more into the lavender bush then went inside.

It wasn't until later in the day that I learned three horrible truths about Sister and the lizards.  Apparently, Sister has a long history with these creatures.  Here's what she told me:



Horrible Truth Number One:  When she was little Sister actually caught a lizard outside of school and brought it home to keep as a pet (for some reason when she caught it the animal didn't jettisoned its tail--someday I'm going to have to discuss technique with her).  She said that Ma was okay with keeping the lizard until she learned that it ate live crickets at which point Sister released it into the backyard.  Sister insisted that the lizard population would have eventually made its way the four blocks to our house, but personally I blame Sister for all the problems I'm having now.  

Horrible Truth Number Two:  Last year Sister helped catch and release a lizard that made its way into the library where she works.  Once again, it did not jettison its tail.

Horrible Truth Number Three:  When Sister went out to do some errands shortly after letting me in the house, she stopped in the garden to pet one of the lizards sunning itself on the bricks in the front garden.  That's right, she knelt down and rubbed the annoying creature on its back.  It goes without saying that I was completely horrified by the entire event!  How could she betray me by petting that scaly interloper?  What's next--is she going to start taking in squirrels and bunnies (though the hamster Meri kind of looks like a miniature squirrel without a tail)? 

I know, just when you think you know someone!

So, you've heard it here first, I'm putting my paw down this year.  I am not going to allow those tiny trespassers to take advantage of me, of my Sister's startlingly naivety and trusting nature, or startle me again by dropping their limbs willy-nilly.  Nope, this means war!